Vast cracks appear in Arctic ice
By David Shukman
Environment correspondent, BBC News
Dramatic evidence of the break-up of the Arctic ice-cap has emerged from research during an expedition by the Canadian military.
Scientists travelling with the troops found major new fractures during an assessment of the state of giant ice shelves in Canada's far north.
The team found a network of cracks that stretched for more than 10 miles (16km) on Ward Hunt, the area's largest shelf.
The fate of the vast ice blocks is seen as a key indicator of climate change.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
MEET THE PRESS - May 25, 2008
*******************************************
Meet The Press
Tim Russert and Assorted D.C. pundits
MoDo, Parson Meachem, Doris Footnote Goodwin, Xian Brody, Gwen Ifill
May 25, 2008
*******************************************
Russert: omg Hillary hopes Obama get killed!!
Goodwin: in her defense her analogy was completely wrong plus its clear her people have been hoping he blows up with another revelation like a crazy Reverend or a black child
Dowd: indeed they are hoping something terrible happens to him
Ifill: I fear it all the time so yeah it was disturbing
Meachem: you can't go wrong with good "meaning of is is" joke
Panel: HA HA HA HA
Meachem: she is hoping disaster befalls the nominee
Russert: you gotta have hope
Parson Jon: she is Reagan in '76
Timmy: Obama could be within 12 delegates in a week
Brody: he's got two opposition research teams attacking him at once
Russert: but he hasn't been vetted yet
Brody: right
Timmy: has she earned the right to be V.P.??
Marcus: yeah talking about Bobby's assassination is just the way to earn the invitation
Question: is Bill Clinton a pain in the ass?
Obama: that's not what i heard
Audience: ha ha ha
Obama: look i'm a pragmatist and Doris Goodwin plagiarized a good book called 'Team of Rivals' about Lincoln and even though he was named Abraham he took some non-jews in his cabinet so I might take some non-muslims
Goodwin: good idea you want the enemies pissing out as LBJ would say
Russert: Maureen is it all sexism??
Dowd: pure Poppy Cock
Russert: What does George Herbert Walker Bush have to do with this?
Dowd: she also resorts to sexism when she fails - she's like a prettier Al Sharpton
Russert: did she lose because of sexism?
Marcus: she was playful and tough and won't be the nominee because ran a bad campaign
Brody: now that she has lost to play the sexism card is whiny
Ifill: sexist!!!
Goodwin: resentment and victimhood looks bad for a woman who has accomplished so much
Russert: which is it - is she more electable than Obama or a victim of national rampant national sexism?
Meachem: god go with her
Tim: what the fuck parson Jon?
Meachem: i am not a racist or sexist i just happen to always vote for white men
Brody: this race ended in Iowa
Russert: wow
Brody: they blew it with the caucuses
Tim: that's not sexism its competence
Dowd: they helped write the rules and they still blew tens of millions of dollars
Ifill: the black voters were originally with her too
Tim: can a black man win the presnit
Meacham: in theory yes - in reality no
Tim: what the fuck does that mean parson
Jon: Obama scores on the race resentment index
Tim: what's that
Meachem: the Scary Black Man Score
Ifill: hell i'm queasy too
Parson Jon: this is why McCain is still doing well after all he is a real American
Ifill: we have to talk about race in America
Meachem: we have an Open Letter to Obama from Harold Ford about how to win over voters
Tim: didn't he lose?
Meachem: that's what makes him so perfect for Newsweek
Ifill: what about McCain
Meachem: he's a Saint
Goodwin: people don't even know his momma was white
Tim: they think he's a muslim!!!
Brody: Obama is having Family Faith outreach discussion it's about family
Tim: what is that code for?
Brody: christian law
Marcus: he's all about faith McCain is an atheist
Tim: which faith the muslim or the other one?
Marcus: both
Tim: but McCain is reaching out the family values crowd by seeking the endorsement of neo-Nazis
Dowd: yeah you can bash Catholics but not embrace Hitler
Brody: well he's in trouble now Hitler is very popular with the Republican base
Tim: will McCain pick Bobby Jindal
Ifill: give me a fucking break we have nothing to report on this summer what else would be do
Tim: spend time with our families?
Panel: Ha Ha Ha Ha
Meachem: speaking of Henry II....
Tim: shut up you pretentious twit
McCain: i was a POW!!
Goodwin: hey Lincoln and FDR were not soldiers either
McCain: will not use my opponents youth and inexperience against him
Obama: fuck that shit
Dowd: McCain has a problem he's a fucking jerk
Brody: he can't be commander in chief because of Rezco and Jeremiah Wright
Ifill: Response: McBush!!
Meet The Press
Tim Russert and Assorted D.C. pundits
MoDo, Parson Meachem, Doris Footnote Goodwin, Xian Brody, Gwen Ifill
May 25, 2008
*******************************************
Russert: omg Hillary hopes Obama get killed!!
Goodwin: in her defense her analogy was completely wrong plus its clear her people have been hoping he blows up with another revelation like a crazy Reverend or a black child
Dowd: indeed they are hoping something terrible happens to him
Ifill: I fear it all the time so yeah it was disturbing
Meachem: you can't go wrong with good "meaning of is is" joke
Panel: HA HA HA HA
Meachem: she is hoping disaster befalls the nominee
Russert: you gotta have hope
Parson Jon: she is Reagan in '76
Timmy: Obama could be within 12 delegates in a week
Brody: he's got two opposition research teams attacking him at once
Russert: but he hasn't been vetted yet
Brody: right
Timmy: has she earned the right to be V.P.??
Marcus: yeah talking about Bobby's assassination is just the way to earn the invitation
Question: is Bill Clinton a pain in the ass?
Obama: that's not what i heard
Audience: ha ha ha
Obama: look i'm a pragmatist and Doris Goodwin plagiarized a good book called 'Team of Rivals' about Lincoln and even though he was named Abraham he took some non-jews in his cabinet so I might take some non-muslims
Goodwin: good idea you want the enemies pissing out as LBJ would say
Russert: Maureen is it all sexism??
Dowd: pure Poppy Cock
Russert: What does George Herbert Walker Bush have to do with this?
Dowd: she also resorts to sexism when she fails - she's like a prettier Al Sharpton
Russert: did she lose because of sexism?
Marcus: she was playful and tough and won't be the nominee because ran a bad campaign
Brody: now that she has lost to play the sexism card is whiny
Ifill: sexist!!!
Goodwin: resentment and victimhood looks bad for a woman who has accomplished so much
Russert: which is it - is she more electable than Obama or a victim of national rampant national sexism?
Meachem: god go with her
Tim: what the fuck parson Jon?
Meachem: i am not a racist or sexist i just happen to always vote for white men
Brody: this race ended in Iowa
Russert: wow
Brody: they blew it with the caucuses
Tim: that's not sexism its competence
Dowd: they helped write the rules and they still blew tens of millions of dollars
Ifill: the black voters were originally with her too
Tim: can a black man win the presnit
Meacham: in theory yes - in reality no
Tim: what the fuck does that mean parson
Jon: Obama scores on the race resentment index
Tim: what's that
Meachem: the Scary Black Man Score
Ifill: hell i'm queasy too
Parson Jon: this is why McCain is still doing well after all he is a real American
Ifill: we have to talk about race in America
Meachem: we have an Open Letter to Obama from Harold Ford about how to win over voters
Tim: didn't he lose?
Meachem: that's what makes him so perfect for Newsweek
Ifill: what about McCain
Meachem: he's a Saint
Goodwin: people don't even know his momma was white
Tim: they think he's a muslim!!!
Brody: Obama is having Family Faith outreach discussion it's about family
Tim: what is that code for?
Brody: christian law
Marcus: he's all about faith McCain is an atheist
Tim: which faith the muslim or the other one?
Marcus: both
Tim: but McCain is reaching out the family values crowd by seeking the endorsement of neo-Nazis
Dowd: yeah you can bash Catholics but not embrace Hitler
Brody: well he's in trouble now Hitler is very popular with the Republican base
Tim: will McCain pick Bobby Jindal
Ifill: give me a fucking break we have nothing to report on this summer what else would be do
Tim: spend time with our families?
Panel: Ha Ha Ha Ha
Meachem: speaking of Henry II....
Tim: shut up you pretentious twit
McCain: i was a POW!!
Goodwin: hey Lincoln and FDR were not soldiers either
McCain: will not use my opponents youth and inexperience against him
Obama: fuck that shit
Dowd: McCain has a problem he's a fucking jerk
Brody: he can't be commander in chief because of Rezco and Jeremiah Wright
Ifill: Response: McBush!!
This Week With George Stephanopoulos - May 25, 2008
********************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos
May 25, 2008
Guest: David Axelrod
********************************************
Stephanopoulos: dave you know that Hillary wasn't really saying Clinton wasn't hoping that Obama be assassinated right dood
AxelRod: yeah but even she admitted it was pretty bad
Steph: yeah but you loved stirring this pot
AxelRod: let's move on we've gotten enough mileage out of it
Steph: Hillary says today she has lost the math but is still better than Obama
AxelRod: yeah she also counts phantom votes from Michigan
Steph: she says he is more popular than he is
AxelRod: well this isn't American Idol -- after all the wrong guy won that too
Steph: Mich and Florida are two of our more fucked up states
AxelRod: indeed they are - but we have to throw the crazies a bone
Steph: when do you wrap this up?
AxelRod: either June or September
Steph: she says she is better than you nationally
AxelRod: not true - look at Virginia or California or Ohio
Steph: 25% of Democrats hate you
AxelRod: McCain doesn't even have an opponent and he can't win 70% - it's sad
Steph: you lost Kentucky and West Virginia
AxelRod: that's ok Obama is going to run with that banjo-playing kid from Deliverance -- that will put us over the top
Steph: wow big news
AxelRod: ding ding ding ding ding....
Steph: Feinstein says you should run with Hillary
AxelRod: nope - we have women who know about the high price of milk
Steph: Got Milk?
A-Rod: GOT MLK?
Steph: Hillary fans will stay home cause Obama is sexist
A-Rod: well I hope they are happy when Roe v Wade is overturned
Steph: McCain says Obama should get a drivers license before he becomes president
A-Rod: this coming from a guy whose family won't let him drive the family car
Steph: why, too old?
A-Rod: no the jangling keys scare him
[ break ]
Steph: hello Karl and congrats for staying out of prison
Karl Rove: McCain is old but Obama is about change
Steph: play concern troll for me
Rove: Obama is a hypocrite he should spend the summer working with Republicans passing legislation
Steph: that's ridiculous why would the GOP give him legislation in middle of 2008
Rove: ok let him put a Republican on the ticket
Steph: you're full of great ideas
Steph: what about McCain?
Rove: he has to be the change and reform candidate
Steph: Huggy Bear???
Rove: he must fake it like my wife does
Steph: he's screwed isn't he?
Rove: no he must authentically play the fear and race card
Steph: even Mike Murphy told McCain to stop acting like an jerk
Rove: that's Nagourney he's an asshole
Steph: what else does he need to do
Rove: get 4 decades younger
Steph: the GOP is toxic and radioactive
Rove: these things wax and wane but people are basically conservative
Steph: they just hate karl rove and george bush
Rove: eeeeeek
Steph: you're losing seats left and right
Rove: true but lets put this in context we only lost because the Dems pointed out that the GOP is totally corrupt not that our ideas are bad
Steph: this is all your fault isn't it?
Rove: our hopes lie with John Boehner
Steph: omg you are truly fucked
Rove: hey i won my elections - fuck the younger generation
Steph: you conspired to put Don Siegelman in prison and now they are going after you piggy
Rove: oh c'mon all the people accused of crimes have denied it
Steph: that's not persuasive
Rove: well how about I argue separation of powers applies here
Steph: that allows you to commit crimes?
Rove: we offered to meet with Congress in secret and sadly they said no
Steph: ok tell me the truth about Don Siegelman
Rove: i learned that he was convicted from the newspaper
Steph: so you are not denying you broke the law, ruined the Justice department, and put innocent people in prison
Rove: who me?
Steph: yeah, dipshit you
Rove: well then no
*******************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos
May 25, 2008
Guest: David Axelrod
********************************************
Stephanopoulos: dave you know that Hillary wasn't really saying Clinton wasn't hoping that Obama be assassinated right dood
AxelRod: yeah but even she admitted it was pretty bad
Steph: yeah but you loved stirring this pot
AxelRod: let's move on we've gotten enough mileage out of it
Steph: Hillary says today she has lost the math but is still better than Obama
AxelRod: yeah she also counts phantom votes from Michigan
Steph: she says he is more popular than he is
AxelRod: well this isn't American Idol -- after all the wrong guy won that too
Steph: Mich and Florida are two of our more fucked up states
AxelRod: indeed they are - but we have to throw the crazies a bone
Steph: when do you wrap this up?
AxelRod: either June or September
Steph: she says she is better than you nationally
AxelRod: not true - look at Virginia or California or Ohio
Steph: 25% of Democrats hate you
AxelRod: McCain doesn't even have an opponent and he can't win 70% - it's sad
Steph: you lost Kentucky and West Virginia
AxelRod: that's ok Obama is going to run with that banjo-playing kid from Deliverance -- that will put us over the top
Steph: wow big news
AxelRod: ding ding ding ding ding....
Steph: Feinstein says you should run with Hillary
AxelRod: nope - we have women who know about the high price of milk
Steph: Got Milk?
A-Rod: GOT MLK?
Steph: Hillary fans will stay home cause Obama is sexist
A-Rod: well I hope they are happy when Roe v Wade is overturned
Steph: McCain says Obama should get a drivers license before he becomes president
A-Rod: this coming from a guy whose family won't let him drive the family car
Steph: why, too old?
A-Rod: no the jangling keys scare him
[ break ]
Steph: hello Karl and congrats for staying out of prison
Karl Rove: McCain is old but Obama is about change
Steph: play concern troll for me
Rove: Obama is a hypocrite he should spend the summer working with Republicans passing legislation
Steph: that's ridiculous why would the GOP give him legislation in middle of 2008
Rove: ok let him put a Republican on the ticket
Steph: you're full of great ideas
Steph: what about McCain?
Rove: he has to be the change and reform candidate
Steph: Huggy Bear???
Rove: he must fake it like my wife does
Steph: he's screwed isn't he?
Rove: no he must authentically play the fear and race card
Steph: even Mike Murphy told McCain to stop acting like an jerk
Rove: that's Nagourney he's an asshole
Steph: what else does he need to do
Rove: get 4 decades younger
Steph: the GOP is toxic and radioactive
Rove: these things wax and wane but people are basically conservative
Steph: they just hate karl rove and george bush
Rove: eeeeeek
Steph: you're losing seats left and right
Rove: true but lets put this in context we only lost because the Dems pointed out that the GOP is totally corrupt not that our ideas are bad
Steph: this is all your fault isn't it?
Rove: our hopes lie with John Boehner
Steph: omg you are truly fucked
Rove: hey i won my elections - fuck the younger generation
Steph: you conspired to put Don Siegelman in prison and now they are going after you piggy
Rove: oh c'mon all the people accused of crimes have denied it
Steph: that's not persuasive
Rove: well how about I argue separation of powers applies here
Steph: that allows you to commit crimes?
Rove: we offered to meet with Congress in secret and sadly they said no
Steph: ok tell me the truth about Don Siegelman
Rove: i learned that he was convicted from the newspaper
Steph: so you are not denying you broke the law, ruined the Justice department, and put innocent people in prison
Rove: who me?
Steph: yeah, dipshit you
Rove: well then no
*******************************************
Monday, May 12, 2008
The Daily Show with John Stewart - Guest: Douglas Feith - May 12, 2008
*************************************
The Daily Show with John Stewart
Guest: Douglas Feith
May 12, 2008
*************************************
Stewart: did you lie to kill 4,000 Americans
Feith: no I am very stupid but not a liar
Stewart: oh ok
Feith: true invading Iraq was very risky
Stewart: ah you also lied about how safe it was going to be
Feith: no you're forgetting how stupid i am - see I also was dumb about all that too
Stewart: you seem really, really stupid
Feith: not just me - Rumsfeld and Bush too
Feith: looking back i admit we were wrong about one thing - saying Iraq had WMD and that we would be greeted as liberators
Stewart: now that sounds like lying and deception to sell a product and killing people
Feith: oh sure you remember we tried to sell the war because it went really badly - but if the war had gone well i would be writing a book right now reminding people that we were really against the war
Stewart: all due respect Stupid i think i remember you guys selling this war like it was the Superbowl with blowjobs and orgasms
Feith: now that sounds fun - do you want a job
Stewart: c'mon didn't you sell this war with a pack of lies
Feith: well sure looking back we told lies but the lies were only clear in hindsight
Stewart: i don't believe you just fucked up
Feith: no no no - i disagree i believe this administration is mostly morons
Stewart: really?
Feith: The Bush administration is like Wagner -- it's better than it sounds
Stewart: but not as much fun to be around
Feith: that's why i wrote the book - to get my revisionst lies out there
Stewart: good luck with that dumbass
Feith: George Bush is like me and my golden retriever - dumb but loyal
Stewart: you guys totally invented the Iraq threat and mobilized this country for war with great effort
Feith: oh you're just assuming we wanted war
Stewart: i am - but in this case you had to work had to make a case for war
Feith: no you must understand - we don't *think* at all
Stewart: um, what?
Feith: look after 9/11 George Bush decided the best way to prevent another 9/11 was to invent a case against Iraq because he once tried to his daddy
Stewart: why didn't you focus on diplomacy?
Feith: we tried that - it was a lovely nanosecond
Feith: diplomacy failed when Saddam let the inspectors in and we realized he was not serious about war and cheated by agreeing to our demands
Stewart: but you lied
Feith: we had to lie because after 9/11 we need to prevent another 9/11 by attacking coutries before they ever thought of attacking us
Stewart: don't you see how immoral that kind of lying is
Feith: no i really don't
Stewart: well fuck off ya fuckin war criminal
***********************************************************
The Daily Show with John Stewart
Guest: Douglas Feith
May 12, 2008
*************************************
Stewart: did you lie to kill 4,000 Americans
Feith: no I am very stupid but not a liar
Stewart: oh ok
Feith: true invading Iraq was very risky
Stewart: ah you also lied about how safe it was going to be
Feith: no you're forgetting how stupid i am - see I also was dumb about all that too
Stewart: you seem really, really stupid
Feith: not just me - Rumsfeld and Bush too
Feith: looking back i admit we were wrong about one thing - saying Iraq had WMD and that we would be greeted as liberators
Stewart: now that sounds like lying and deception to sell a product and killing people
Feith: oh sure you remember we tried to sell the war because it went really badly - but if the war had gone well i would be writing a book right now reminding people that we were really against the war
Stewart: all due respect Stupid i think i remember you guys selling this war like it was the Superbowl with blowjobs and orgasms
Feith: now that sounds fun - do you want a job
Stewart: c'mon didn't you sell this war with a pack of lies
Feith: well sure looking back we told lies but the lies were only clear in hindsight
Stewart: i don't believe you just fucked up
Feith: no no no - i disagree i believe this administration is mostly morons
Stewart: really?
Feith: The Bush administration is like Wagner -- it's better than it sounds
Stewart: but not as much fun to be around
Feith: that's why i wrote the book - to get my revisionst lies out there
Stewart: good luck with that dumbass
Feith: George Bush is like me and my golden retriever - dumb but loyal
Stewart: you guys totally invented the Iraq threat and mobilized this country for war with great effort
Feith: oh you're just assuming we wanted war
Stewart: i am - but in this case you had to work had to make a case for war
Feith: no you must understand - we don't *think* at all
Stewart: um, what?
Feith: look after 9/11 George Bush decided the best way to prevent another 9/11 was to invent a case against Iraq because he once tried to his daddy
Stewart: why didn't you focus on diplomacy?
Feith: we tried that - it was a lovely nanosecond
Feith: diplomacy failed when Saddam let the inspectors in and we realized he was not serious about war and cheated by agreeing to our demands
Stewart: but you lied
Feith: we had to lie because after 9/11 we need to prevent another 9/11 by attacking coutries before they ever thought of attacking us
Stewart: don't you see how immoral that kind of lying is
Feith: no i really don't
Stewart: well fuck off ya fuckin war criminal
***********************************************************
Sunday, April 06, 2008
60 Minutes with Doug Feith - April 6, 2008
*******************************************
60 Minutes
April 6, 2008
Guest: Doug Feith
*******************************************
Kroft: why did we invade iraq?
Feith: Saddam had a very scary mustache
Kroft: but he wasn't involved in 9/11
Feith: but he could have been
Kroft: but he wasn't
Feith: but he could have
Kroft: but he wasn't
Feith: we had to attack someone
Kroft: so why Saddam?
Feith: he once attacked Iran
Kroft: you're fucking kidding right
Feith: it's ‘anticipatory self defense’
Kroft: i think hitler did that to poland in 1939
Feith: exactly
Kroft: you all said we were about to be attacked
Feith: no we didn't
Kroft: [ plays endless clips of people in the Administration saying that ]
Feith: oh that - that was all the CIA's fault
Feith: we shouldn't have focused on WMD
Kroft: dood that's the whole reason we invaded!!
Feith: oh no we attacked for a whole other reason
Kroft: which was??
Feith: to help Osama bin Laden and get us bogged down in a civil war and ruin our reputation
Kroft: really?!?!?
Feith: no - just kidding
Kroft: but all that really happened!
Feith: and we saw it all coming
Kroft: jesus christ then why invade??
Feith: Bush was salivating at the idea of a parade
Kroft: the war has been a disaster
Feith: ok we didn't realize there would be an insurgency
Kroft: you were asleep in the 20th century were you?
Kroft: you didn't have enough troops
Feith: i don't know what is my own book sorry
Kroft: you are the stupidest fucking man on earth
Feith: heh i wish i had a dime for every time i heard that
Kroft: worst decision ever??
Feith: disband the Iraqi military
Kroft: you signed off on that
Feith: no i never did
Kroft: did rumsfeld?
Feith: i don't know we were too busy banning abortion in Iraq
Kroft: you're an idiot - what are you doing now?
Feith: teaching at Georgetown
Feith: if Bush had listened to me and put Chalabi in charge things would have been fine
Kroft: General Franks says you're the dumbest mother fucker on the planet
Feith: ah - but not Venus or Mars, right
Kroft: people seem to hate you
Feith: they are just pissed because i faked intelligence to trick america in to war
Kroft: oh so just whining
Kroft: was the Iraq war was the right thing to do?
Feith: given bush is an idiot then yes
Kroft: yes or no
Feith: yes the war was a terrific idea
[scrubs hands furiously]
Kroft: i don't think that blood will come out big guy
Feith: dammit dammit dammit
60 Minutes
April 6, 2008
Guest: Doug Feith
*******************************************
Kroft: why did we invade iraq?
Feith: Saddam had a very scary mustache
Kroft: but he wasn't involved in 9/11
Feith: but he could have been
Kroft: but he wasn't
Feith: but he could have
Kroft: but he wasn't
Feith: we had to attack someone
Kroft: so why Saddam?
Feith: he once attacked Iran
Kroft: you're fucking kidding right
Feith: it's ‘anticipatory self defense’
Kroft: i think hitler did that to poland in 1939
Feith: exactly
Kroft: you all said we were about to be attacked
Feith: no we didn't
Kroft: [ plays endless clips of people in the Administration saying that ]
Feith: oh that - that was all the CIA's fault
Feith: we shouldn't have focused on WMD
Kroft: dood that's the whole reason we invaded!!
Feith: oh no we attacked for a whole other reason
Kroft: which was??
Feith: to help Osama bin Laden and get us bogged down in a civil war and ruin our reputation
Kroft: really?!?!?
Feith: no - just kidding
Kroft: but all that really happened!
Feith: and we saw it all coming
Kroft: jesus christ then why invade??
Feith: Bush was salivating at the idea of a parade
Kroft: the war has been a disaster
Feith: ok we didn't realize there would be an insurgency
Kroft: you were asleep in the 20th century were you?
Kroft: you didn't have enough troops
Feith: i don't know what is my own book sorry
Kroft: you are the stupidest fucking man on earth
Feith: heh i wish i had a dime for every time i heard that
Kroft: worst decision ever??
Feith: disband the Iraqi military
Kroft: you signed off on that
Feith: no i never did
Kroft: did rumsfeld?
Feith: i don't know we were too busy banning abortion in Iraq
Kroft: you're an idiot - what are you doing now?
Feith: teaching at Georgetown
Feith: if Bush had listened to me and put Chalabi in charge things would have been fine
Kroft: General Franks says you're the dumbest mother fucker on the planet
Feith: ah - but not Venus or Mars, right
Kroft: people seem to hate you
Feith: they are just pissed because i faked intelligence to trick america in to war
Kroft: oh so just whining
Kroft: was the Iraq war was the right thing to do?
Feith: given bush is an idiot then yes
Kroft: yes or no
Feith: yes the war was a terrific idea
[scrubs hands furiously]
Kroft: i don't think that blood will come out big guy
Feith: dammit dammit dammit
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Hardball with Chris Matthews with Barack Obama
******************************************************
Hardball with Chris Matthews
April 2, 2008
Guest: Sen. Barack Obama
***********************************************
Matthews: Welcome to my Exclusive Interview with the Next President!!
Matthews: hello Obama - you suck at bowling
Obama: clearly i do you fat white looser
Matthews: you’re black so you’re good at basketball
Obama: i'm only half black so i only shoot from half court
Matthews: are you as tough as dick cheney?
Obama: heh that fat draft dodging loser? i aim higher than that
Matthews: but dick cheney is so presidential -- he hates human beings so much he shoots them
Obama: yeah ignoring the voters makes you tough
Matthews: but you’re skinny you look like you can’t fight
Obama: i'm from Chicago - fuck that shit
Matthews: do you hate america and will your surrender to brown people
Obama: i was right about the war and dick cheney drinks human blood
Matthews: but the war is lovely this time of year
Obama: fuck that shit and damm Hillary for voting for it
Matthews: but we are americans kicking foreign ass!!!!
Obama: you're a mission creep
Matthews: but the surge is working!!!!
Obama: hey dood the puppet regime we installed is linked to our great enemy Iran - face it bush is one dumb motherfucker
Matthews: but the brown terrorists!!
Obama: which i intend to kill
Matthews: is hillary McClinton?
Obama: no i just pointed out what McCain said which is that we will stay in Iraq for 100 years
Matthews: well why not?
Obama: we could spend that on college scholarships and on bottled water for all MSNBC employees
Matthews: i love it!
Matthews: we have lost a lot of jobs in Pennsylvania
Obama: who the fuck is 'we' Nantucket-boy?
Matthews: hah!
Obama: face it boys the jobs are gone and they ain't comin' back
Matthews: springsteeen bitches!
Obama: I was born in the usa!
Matthews: the crisis of 2009 is bill clinton's fault!!
Obama: well of course
Matthews: what’s solution to the economic slump?
Obama: green jobs fathead
Audience: college funding dood
Obama: I favor Pell grants and credit for national service like help the homeless or teh peas core
Matthews: heh i was in teh peas core
Obama: eliminate teh middle man like sally mae
Audience: I hate that bitch
Audience: Pastor Right dood
Obama: i used to pray for a new BMW and now I pray for Chris Matthews to develop a terrible mental disease
Matthews: hah too late!
Obama: let god be god and me be me
Question: Senator what's your stance on teacher merit pay
Obama: it's fucking stupid - teaching to teh test is moronic
Matthews: i love it!
Matthews: what if al qaeda tries to fly a plane in to teh capitol at 3:00!?!
Obama: so what - there's no one in the capitol at 3:00 am
Matthews: people like me would be
Obama: again so what?
Matthews: but the brown scary people!
Obama: JFK showed restraint and i want to cool and cautious and get laid a lot like him
Matthews: yur awesome
Obama: i will attack Pakistan to get Osama
Matthews: never heard of him
Matthews: how do you clean out the corrupt executive branch??
Obama: gee i don't maybe run for President
Matthews: but that's scary
Obama: I will create a culture of truth baby
Matthews: but the CIA kills people
Obama: so do i dood
Matthews: you're scary
Obama: i'm black and i'm from chicago i'm not afraid of the striped pants ivy league twits at teh CIA
Matthews: Barama what's it like to have a white mother who loves you?
Obama: it’s great american melting pot dood
Matthews: ooh Schoolhouse Rock!
Obama: i've got family members who are pasty and some who are black and they all agree Bush is a motherfucker
Matthews: you're like that kid in Soul Man - you're a white guy who learned what it's like to be black
Obama: C. Thomas Howell inspired me to go to Harvard Law School
Matthews: you wanted to defeat Russian invaders?
Obama: no i wanted to nail Rae Dawn Chong
Matthews: Clinton using dog whistles to call out the Rev Right dogs?
Obama: of course they are - meanwhile 4,000 people are dead - the planet is melting and america is the shitter
Matthews: so let's talk more about rev Right and why didn't you fuck him over?
Obama: because MSNBC is a tv network full of repressed white catholic racists
Matthews: but he's controversial!
Obama: didn't i see you sexually harass Erin Burnett?
Matthews: it was all in fun dood!
Matthews: you have will power like Bush - you stopped smoking!
Obama: yeah yeah yeah
Matthews: smokers stand up!
Obama: oh lord - why didn't i stick with a substantive show like "The View"??
Matthews: do you ever think “holy shit this is ridiculous”
Obama: only when i watch your show jackass
Question: gay marriage!?
Obama: sure - but not for another generation
Matthews: why not?
Obama: because of repressed twits like you dood
Matthews: inner city schools!
Obama: answer is pre-pre pre-K, like reading to kids in teh womb
Matthews: what books can a zygote read?
Obama: something juvenile like "Life's a Campaign"
Question: what else?
Obama: apprenticeship in the trades
Matthews: what is this - the middle ages?
Obama: hey it's that or drugs and jail
Matthews: what if you end the primaries have more delegates?
Obama: that's called being the winner stupid
Matthews: but the superdelegates could vote against you
Obama: well those people would be motherfuckers wouldn't they
Matthews: so supers should vote for you if you have more votes, delegates and states
Obama: if they deny me the nominaton my black fans and white supporters will rise and take this motherfuckin' country by force
Matthews: i love it! thanx for coming
Obama: no thank u crazy man
******************************************************
Hardball with Chris Matthews
April 2, 2008
Guest: Sen. Barack Obama
***********************************************
Matthews: Welcome to my Exclusive Interview with the Next President!!
Matthews: hello Obama - you suck at bowling
Obama: clearly i do you fat white looser
Matthews: you’re black so you’re good at basketball
Obama: i'm only half black so i only shoot from half court
Matthews: are you as tough as dick cheney?
Obama: heh that fat draft dodging loser? i aim higher than that
Matthews: but dick cheney is so presidential -- he hates human beings so much he shoots them
Obama: yeah ignoring the voters makes you tough
Matthews: but you’re skinny you look like you can’t fight
Obama: i'm from Chicago - fuck that shit
Matthews: do you hate america and will your surrender to brown people
Obama: i was right about the war and dick cheney drinks human blood
Matthews: but the war is lovely this time of year
Obama: fuck that shit and damm Hillary for voting for it
Matthews: but we are americans kicking foreign ass!!!!
Obama: you're a mission creep
Matthews: but the surge is working!!!!
Obama: hey dood the puppet regime we installed is linked to our great enemy Iran - face it bush is one dumb motherfucker
Matthews: but the brown terrorists!!
Obama: which i intend to kill
Matthews: is hillary McClinton?
Obama: no i just pointed out what McCain said which is that we will stay in Iraq for 100 years
Matthews: well why not?
Obama: we could spend that on college scholarships and on bottled water for all MSNBC employees
Matthews: i love it!
Matthews: we have lost a lot of jobs in Pennsylvania
Obama: who the fuck is 'we' Nantucket-boy?
Matthews: hah!
Obama: face it boys the jobs are gone and they ain't comin' back
Matthews: springsteeen bitches!
Obama: I was born in the usa!
Matthews: the crisis of 2009 is bill clinton's fault!!
Obama: well of course
Matthews: what’s solution to the economic slump?
Obama: green jobs fathead
Audience: college funding dood
Obama: I favor Pell grants and credit for national service like help the homeless or teh peas core
Matthews: heh i was in teh peas core
Obama: eliminate teh middle man like sally mae
Audience: I hate that bitch
Audience: Pastor Right dood
Obama: i used to pray for a new BMW and now I pray for Chris Matthews to develop a terrible mental disease
Matthews: hah too late!
Obama: let god be god and me be me
Question: Senator what's your stance on teacher merit pay
Obama: it's fucking stupid - teaching to teh test is moronic
Matthews: i love it!
Matthews: what if al qaeda tries to fly a plane in to teh capitol at 3:00!?!
Obama: so what - there's no one in the capitol at 3:00 am
Matthews: people like me would be
Obama: again so what?
Matthews: but the brown scary people!
Obama: JFK showed restraint and i want to cool and cautious and get laid a lot like him
Matthews: yur awesome
Obama: i will attack Pakistan to get Osama
Matthews: never heard of him
Matthews: how do you clean out the corrupt executive branch??
Obama: gee i don't maybe run for President
Matthews: but that's scary
Obama: I will create a culture of truth baby
Matthews: but the CIA kills people
Obama: so do i dood
Matthews: you're scary
Obama: i'm black and i'm from chicago i'm not afraid of the striped pants ivy league twits at teh CIA
Matthews: Barama what's it like to have a white mother who loves you?
Obama: it’s great american melting pot dood
Matthews: ooh Schoolhouse Rock!
Obama: i've got family members who are pasty and some who are black and they all agree Bush is a motherfucker
Matthews: you're like that kid in Soul Man - you're a white guy who learned what it's like to be black
Obama: C. Thomas Howell inspired me to go to Harvard Law School
Matthews: you wanted to defeat Russian invaders?
Obama: no i wanted to nail Rae Dawn Chong
Matthews: Clinton using dog whistles to call out the Rev Right dogs?
Obama: of course they are - meanwhile 4,000 people are dead - the planet is melting and america is the shitter
Matthews: so let's talk more about rev Right and why didn't you fuck him over?
Obama: because MSNBC is a tv network full of repressed white catholic racists
Matthews: but he's controversial!
Obama: didn't i see you sexually harass Erin Burnett?
Matthews: it was all in fun dood!
Matthews: you have will power like Bush - you stopped smoking!
Obama: yeah yeah yeah
Matthews: smokers stand up!
Obama: oh lord - why didn't i stick with a substantive show like "The View"??
Matthews: do you ever think “holy shit this is ridiculous”
Obama: only when i watch your show jackass
Question: gay marriage!?
Obama: sure - but not for another generation
Matthews: why not?
Obama: because of repressed twits like you dood
Matthews: inner city schools!
Obama: answer is pre-pre pre-K, like reading to kids in teh womb
Matthews: what books can a zygote read?
Obama: something juvenile like "Life's a Campaign"
Question: what else?
Obama: apprenticeship in the trades
Matthews: what is this - the middle ages?
Obama: hey it's that or drugs and jail
Matthews: what if you end the primaries have more delegates?
Obama: that's called being the winner stupid
Matthews: but the superdelegates could vote against you
Obama: well those people would be motherfuckers wouldn't they
Matthews: so supers should vote for you if you have more votes, delegates and states
Obama: if they deny me the nominaton my black fans and white supporters will rise and take this motherfuckin' country by force
Matthews: i love it! thanx for coming
Obama: no thank u crazy man
******************************************************
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
BAILOUT HOMEOWNERS? NOW THAT'S JUST CRAZY
Protesters Enter Bear Stearns Headquarters
By REUTERS
NEW YORK (Reuters) - About 60 protesters opposed to the U.S. Federal Reserve's help in bailing out Bear Stearnsentered the lobby of the investment bank's Manhattan headquarters on Wednesday, demanding assistance for struggling homeowners.
Demonstrators organized by the Neighborhood Assistance Corporation of America chanted "Help Main Street, not Wall Street" and entered the lobby without an invitation for around half an hour before being escorted out by police.
"There are no provisions for homeowners in this deal. There are people out there struggling who need help," said Detria Austin, an organizer at NACA, an advocacy group for home ownership.
Bear Stearns employees were alternatively amused and perplexed, taking pictures on their cell phones.
"Homeowners, that's more than $1 trillion (in mortgage debt), you're crazy," one man in a suit screamed at a protester on the street.
MALIKI UNIT - 3 DAYS
Maliki Gives Shiite Militias
72 Hours to Halt Fighting
The fighting threatens to destabilize a long-term truce
that had helped reduce the level of violence in the
five-year-old Iraq war.
***********************************
72 Hours to Halt Fighting
The fighting threatens to destabilize a long-term truce
that had helped reduce the level of violence in the
five-year-old Iraq war.
***********************************
DEPT. OF 'NO SHIT SHERLOCK'
Cigarette Company Paid
For Lung Cancer Study
The revelation that a researcher’s study was underwritten
by a tobacco company has caused an appearance of bias.
************************
For Lung Cancer Study
The revelation that a researcher’s study was underwritten
by a tobacco company has caused an appearance of bias.
************************
Monday, March 17, 2008
AP's Ron Fournier: Ungracious, Self-Important, Arrogrant, and Overbearing?
Privately, people say that Ron Fournier is ungracious, arrogant, oozes a sense of entitlement, is self-important, aloof, cocky and overbearing.
Why do people say such things about AP reporter Ron Fournier?
Will AP reporter Ron Fournier respond to these charges? Does he deny them?
Nobody expects Ron Fournier to be perfect. But he better never forget that he isn't.
Why do people say such things about AP reporter Ron Fournier?
Will AP reporter Ron Fournier respond to these charges? Does he deny them?
Nobody expects Ron Fournier to be perfect. But he better never forget that he isn't.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Bush Refuses to Take General's Calls
Phones rings at 3:00 am at the White House. And rings. And rings. And rings. And rings. And rings. And rings. And rings. And rings. And rings.
Voice over:
"According to Jim Miklaszewski of NBC: 'In the end, under pressure
from the White House, Defense Secretary Gates refused
to take General Fallon's calls, making it clear he had to go.'"
"It's Time for a Change"
Fade-in Graphic:
Obama 08
Voice over:
"According to Jim Miklaszewski of NBC: 'In the end, under pressure
from the White House, Defense Secretary Gates refused
to take General Fallon's calls, making it clear he had to go.'"
"It's Time for a Change"
Fade-in Graphic:
Obama 08
Dear Tim Russert
Dear Tim Russert,
Unless you have some evidence that liberal women over 50 who support Hillary Clinton and black voters who support Obama will vote for John McCain in November if their candidate is not the nominee, please stop saying it on television.
Yours,
Culture of Truth
Unless you have some evidence that liberal women over 50 who support Hillary Clinton and black voters who support Obama will vote for John McCain in November if their candidate is not the nominee, please stop saying it on television.
Yours,
Culture of Truth
TWO DEATHLY HALLOWS FILMS!!??
The seventh and final Harry Potter novel will be adapted for the big screen in two parts, reports suggest.
Producer David Heyman told the Los Angeles Times it had been impossible to cram Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows' 608 pages into a single movie. "Unlike every other book, you cannot remove elements of this book," he said.
Fans of the series have been left disappointed in the past when key scenes, including Quidditch matches, were excised for the film adaptations. Star Daniel Radcliffe told the Los Angeles Times that splitting the final book in two was the only sensible option for the film-makers.
"There have been compartmentalised subplots in the other books that have made them easier to cut - although those cuts were still to the horror of some fans," he told the paper. The seventh book doesn't really have any subplots. It's one driving, pounding story from the word go."
The first will reportedly be released in November 2010, with the second part hitting screens the following May.
The first five movies have made $4.5 billion (£2.2 billion) worldwide - making it the biggest film franchise in box office history, surpassing both James Bond and Star Wars.
Producer David Heyman told the Los Angeles Times it had been impossible to cram Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows' 608 pages into a single movie. "Unlike every other book, you cannot remove elements of this book," he said.
Fans of the series have been left disappointed in the past when key scenes, including Quidditch matches, were excised for the film adaptations. Star Daniel Radcliffe told the Los Angeles Times that splitting the final book in two was the only sensible option for the film-makers.
"There have been compartmentalised subplots in the other books that have made them easier to cut - although those cuts were still to the horror of some fans," he told the paper. The seventh book doesn't really have any subplots. It's one driving, pounding story from the word go."
The first will reportedly be released in November 2010, with the second part hitting screens the following May.
The first five movies have made $4.5 billion (£2.2 billion) worldwide - making it the biggest film franchise in box office history, surpassing both James Bond and Star Wars.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
BUT HAS HE MET ADMIRAL KIRK?
As the Democratic presidential campaign has intensified in recent weeks, Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton and her supporters have said that Senator Barack Obama has not crossed the “threshold” to serve as commander in chief.
So does Mr. Obama believe that Mrs. Clinton is qualified?
“Yes,” Mr. Obama said. “As I believe Senator McCain is and as I believe I am. Keep in mind though, I think it is fair to say Senator Clinton has deployed this as a political strategy.”
In a news conference with reporters here today, Mr. Obama was flanked by 10 former generals and admirals who are supporting his candidacy. It is the latest in a series of dueling flag-draped events between the Clinton and Obama campaigns as they seek to demonstrate their national security credentials.
So does Mr. Obama believe that Mrs. Clinton is qualified?
“Yes,” Mr. Obama said. “As I believe Senator McCain is and as I believe I am. Keep in mind though, I think it is fair to say Senator Clinton has deployed this as a political strategy.”
In a news conference with reporters here today, Mr. Obama was flanked by 10 former generals and admirals who are supporting his candidacy. It is the latest in a series of dueling flag-draped events between the Clinton and Obama campaigns as they seek to demonstrate their national security credentials.
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
IT'S THREE A.M. - A PHONE RINGS IN THE WHITE HOUSE....
[White House Phone rings ]
"Hello! You have reached the White House. If you have an emergency and would like to speak to the President, press 5 now."
[presses 5 ]
"Si usted quisiera hablar al Presidente, ahora presione 5."
[presses 5 again ]
"Thank you."
"For nuclear war, press one."
"For a killer asteroid, press two."
"For deadly plague, press three."
"For zombie surf nazis, press four."
"For all other problems, please remain on the line and an operator will be with you shortly."
[Girl from Ipanema plays softly]
***********************************************************
"Hello! You have reached the White House. If you have an emergency and would like to speak to the President, press 5 now."
[presses 5 ]
"Si usted quisiera hablar al Presidente, ahora presione 5."
[presses 5 again ]
"Thank you."
"For nuclear war, press one."
"For a killer asteroid, press two."
"For deadly plague, press three."
"For zombie surf nazis, press four."
"For all other problems, please remain on the line and an operator will be with you shortly."
[Girl from Ipanema plays softly]
***********************************************************
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Meet The Press - March 2, 2008
Meet The Press
March 2, 2008
Russert: i asked Obama about al qaeda in Iraq and he said maybe they could be there
McCain: i have news for Barack it's called al qaeda in iraq
Bush: heh heh heh
Obama: hey they weren't there until McCain invaded
Shrum: we've got to get the hell out of there
Murphy: i've got news for McCain - people don't want to stay in Iraq
Murphy: he has to stop campaigning with evangelists McCain should run as a liberal
Russert: Bill Clinton loved NAFTA but now they have both said its bad
Matalin: Oh Noes!!!
Timmy: what's wrong?
Matalin: they have our oil in Canada!
Timy: oh no!
Matalin: but Obama is being sneaky with Canada
Shrum: go ahead and campaign in favor of NAFTA in Ohio Mary - i dare you
Russert: but cutting off trade!
Shrum: sure you can renegotiate
Murphy: Otto von Bismark!
Russert: people say the economy sucks
Matalin: but they say their own finances are good
Shrum: no they don't
Matalin: ok - but only because the media keep saying it
Carville: that's stupid people know they are in big trouble meanwhile Exxon has the Chief Justice weeping for them
Murphy: of course people are hurting
Shurm: Republicans lie all the time but it won't work this time
Russert: people think McCain is old but honest, Obama is young and charismatic and Clinton is experienced and strong but mean
Carville: that's sad because she is such a warm and nice person
Matalin: McCain is the best american who has ever lived
Tim: no one else better ever???
Matalin: ok there is fred thomspson
Murphy: Obama is like the hula hoop he's got the kids moving their hips
Shurm: Obama is touching people although i don't get it myself
Russert: is he too young?
Shrum: no he's not he's like JFK and people seem to like him
Carville: if you like Bush then you'll love McCain
Shrum: McCain is going to attack Iran!
Russert: he will probably die in office
Murphy: that's true so we should look forward to Presidents Crist or Ridge
Carville: nope Ridge is pro-choice
Matalin: McCain has to have a VP with no ambition
Russert: who will Obama or Clinton choose?
Murphy: an anti-war general or Bayh or Dodd
Shrum: Zinni or Wes Clark
Russert: i say Louis Farrakhan
March 2, 2008
Russert: i asked Obama about al qaeda in Iraq and he said maybe they could be there
McCain: i have news for Barack it's called al qaeda in iraq
Bush: heh heh heh
Obama: hey they weren't there until McCain invaded
Shrum: we've got to get the hell out of there
Murphy: i've got news for McCain - people don't want to stay in Iraq
Murphy: he has to stop campaigning with evangelists McCain should run as a liberal
Russert: Bill Clinton loved NAFTA but now they have both said its bad
Matalin: Oh Noes!!!
Timmy: what's wrong?
Matalin: they have our oil in Canada!
Timy: oh no!
Matalin: but Obama is being sneaky with Canada
Shrum: go ahead and campaign in favor of NAFTA in Ohio Mary - i dare you
Russert: but cutting off trade!
Shrum: sure you can renegotiate
Murphy: Otto von Bismark!
Russert: people say the economy sucks
Matalin: but they say their own finances are good
Shrum: no they don't
Matalin: ok - but only because the media keep saying it
Carville: that's stupid people know they are in big trouble meanwhile Exxon has the Chief Justice weeping for them
Murphy: of course people are hurting
Shurm: Republicans lie all the time but it won't work this time
Russert: people think McCain is old but honest, Obama is young and charismatic and Clinton is experienced and strong but mean
Carville: that's sad because she is such a warm and nice person
Matalin: McCain is the best american who has ever lived
Tim: no one else better ever???
Matalin: ok there is fred thomspson
Murphy: Obama is like the hula hoop he's got the kids moving their hips
Shurm: Obama is touching people although i don't get it myself
Russert: is he too young?
Shrum: no he's not he's like JFK and people seem to like him
Carville: if you like Bush then you'll love McCain
Shrum: McCain is going to attack Iran!
Russert: he will probably die in office
Murphy: that's true so we should look forward to Presidents Crist or Ridge
Carville: nope Ridge is pro-choice
Matalin: McCain has to have a VP with no ambition
Russert: who will Obama or Clinton choose?
Murphy: an anti-war general or Bayh or Dodd
Shrum: Zinni or Wes Clark
Russert: i say Louis Farrakhan
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