Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Chris Matthews Show - September 28, 2008

The Chris Matthews Show
September 28, 2008

Matthews: wow they held a debate and Obama didn't use the word motherfucker once!!

Mitchell: Obama failed - he's no ronald reagan

Brooks: i miss reagan

Chris: me too

Brooks: it was too wonky what's up with all the showing-off about all their knowledge at a presidential debate???

Robinson: McCain's problem is that he is an incredible asshole

Kay: he refused to look at the black guy

Matthews: maybe he's like Colbert and can't see color

Brooks: this was the best I've ever seen John McCain

Matthews: that's not good

Mitchell: it's true that McCain had a terrible week but we can cross our fingers that he can turn it around!!

Robinson: they're both going to vote for the bailout!

Brooks: i've been hanging with the common people at applebee's and they tell me that they don't like this

Kay: obama is a stone cold fish who has to pretend he cares about the middle class - John McCain has to pretend he's human

Matthews: who won the week?

Panel: Obama!

Matthews: that's good news for John McCain!

Kay: but it's not the debate that’s the problem - it's that McCain is a doddering fool and that's not going to change

Tweety: i disagree the important thing is Obama won the debate

Brooks: no fair that debate was held at night!

Mitchell: don't count out John McCain yet!

Brooks: McCain really won the debate!

Robinson: that's right

Mitchell: hey John McCain only had two hours to prepare and he was better than Obama

Brooks: oh yeah!

Matthews: OMG it turns out that Sarah Palin is a moron!!

Palin: russian fish invade my space!

Brooks: i admire sarah palin for facing down Putin's reared head

Chris: you like her

Brooks: Sarah the Unready

Kay: the neocons love her she believes in freeance and peeance

Matthews: Kathy Parker doesn't like her and Robert Parker gave 10 points

Mitchell: Juneau, We Have a Problem

Robinson: Biden will respectfully answer the questions and Palin will talk nonsense and the rest of us will squirm uncomfortably

Kay: GOP loves her

Matthews: Palin isn't stupid

Brooks: she will rise to level of mediocrity

Kay: even Petraeus thinks McCain is living in a fantasy world

Robinson: there will be big liberal turnout on election

Mitchell: Sarah Silverman is telling people to schlep to the votes

Brooks: Adam Putnam is leading a pack of angry young white republicans

Tweety: he's adorable - he's the clay aiken of American Conservatism

Mattthews: Paul Newman was a liberal, rich, generous, talented, good-looking, charitable, respected, and told the truth

Kay: wow it's like you and he were matter and anti-matter

Tweety: ha!!

Friday, September 26, 2008


John McCain may not show up tonight. Who should debate Obama instead?

1. Abe Simpson
2. Matlock
3. Mr. Potter
4. The Grand Nagus
5. Old Biff from Back to The Future Part II
6. Bob Dole
7. Prof. Hubert Whitehead
8. McCain’s mother
9. Major Major
10. Corrado Soprano
11. Chauncey Gardiner
12. The 2,000 Year Old Man

Who would you choose??

Where's My Jet Pack?!

Swiss Man Becomes Crosses English Channel With Jet Pack

Swiss pilot Yves Rossy became the first aviator to cross the Channel between England and France using a single jet-powered wing attached to his back. Rossy soared through clear skies during his 37-kilometer (23-mile) flight, then opened a blue and yellow parachute to land safely in Dover. The portion of his flight over water took less than 10 minutes. Rossy postponed an attempt yesterday due to bad weather, saying that he would rather wait than fail. “I would be disappointed to be in the water now and tomorrow it's perfectly blue sky,'' he said yesterday.

Rossy took off from France in a plane and jumped from an altitude of more than 3,000 meters (10,000 feet). His flight started over the French port of Calais. His craft was designed to reach a speed of 190 kilometers an hour.

Spain’s Problem: Too Much Solar Power

Spain Will Cut Solar Plant Subsidies to Check Industry's Growth

Spain's government will cut subsidies to solar-power projects in the next two years as it tries to rein in the industry's growth, Deputy Prime Minister Maria Teresa Fernandez de la Vega said. The industry has installed more than four times the government's target of 371 megawatts of solar capacity, making the reduction necessary to prevent an overburden on public spending, Fernandez said.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Quote of the Day

“Make no mistake, this is a Democrat bill.”

- Republican Jim DeMint, U.S. Senator from South Carolina, on the bailout bill George W. Bush and Secretary Paulson are currently pushing through Congress, this morning.

Americans Oppose Bailouts, Say Obama Would Best Handle Financial Emergency

Americans oppose government rescues of ailing financial companies by a decisive margin, and blame Wall Street and President George W. Bush for the credit crisis.

Americans oppose government rescues of ailing financial companies by a decisive margin, and blame Wall Street and President George W. Bush for the credit crisis. By a margin of 55 percent to 31 percent, Americans say it's not the government's responsibility to bail out private companies with taxpayer dollars, even if their collapse could damage the economy, according to the latest Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times poll. Poll respondents say Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama would do a better job handling the financial crisis than Republican John McCain, by a margin of 45 percent to 33 percent. Almost half of voters say the Democrat has better ideas to strengthen the economy than his Republican opponent.

Six weeks before the presidential election, almost 80 percent of Americans say the U.S. is going in the wrong direction, the biggest percentage since the poll began asking that question in 1991.

Quote of the Day

FOX News Headline:

"Do You Really Want Small Government?"

- September 23, 2008

Recession Certain!?


Bernanke: Recession Certain Without Bailout

Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke bluntly warned Congress on Tuesday it risks a recession, with higher unemployment and increased home foreclosures, if it fails to act on the Bush administration's plan to bail out the financial industry. Bernanke told the Senate Banking Committee that failure to act could leave ordinary businesses unable to borrow the money they need to expand and hire.


Credit Swaps Must Be Regulated `Immediately,' SEC's Cox Says

U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission Chairman Christopher Cox said Congress should grant authority to regulate the credit-default swaps market amid concern the bets are fueling the global financial crisis.

Lawmakers should ``provide in statute the authority to regulate these products to enhance investor protection and ensure the operation of fair and orderly markets,'' Cox told the Senate Banking Committee today at a hearing in Washington. "Neither the SEC nor any regulator has authority over the CDS market, even to require minimal disclosure,'' and that should be addressed "immediately,'' Cox said in prepared testimony at a hearing to consider the government's $700 billion financial rescue plan.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Billions and billions

Cost of proposed bailout: $700 billion

Gross National Product of Saudi Arabia: $376 Billion

Sunday, September 21, 2008

When Socialism Came to America

When fascism comes to America it will come wearing a flag and carrying a cross.

When socialism comes to America it comes as a rich bald white man demanding money for his rich bald white friends.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Common People

Her name was Rothschild
She was a PUMA
She was a member
Of McCain’s Duma

That’s where I
Caught her lie

She said I want to the vote of common people
She said I’ll pretend to like what common people do
She said I want to use common people
She said I want to use common people - people like you

I took her to a CVS
I thought it best
I said now pretend that you have to choose
Between medicine and food
She said she had never laughed so hard
And she just used her credit card

I took her the airport
She was being a good sport
I said what if you didn’t have a private plane
And she said ‘would you please explain’
I said pretend you flight had lost a door
And you had to sleep here on the floor
She said that idea was a riot
And she just would fire the pilot

I took her to a public school
She said where is the swimming pool
I said these books are ineffectual
She called me an intellectual
I said there’s no money for art
She said ‘you think you’re so smart’
I showed her the broken bleachers
And she just blamed the teachers

I took to an emergency room
She knew what one of those was, I assume
I said these people can’t afford health care
She just gave me a blank stare
I said what if you had no insurance for that rash
She said well then I would just pay in cash
I said for once pretend you’re not rich
She ‘but dammit I am, bitch’

I said you don’t know any common people
I said you’ll never see what common people see
I said you’ll never earn the vote of common people
You’ll never earn the vote of common people - people like me

Feds Approve $22 Bailout of Lemonade Stand


Feds Approve $22 Bailout of Lemonade Stand

"Too Delicious to Fail," Says Paulson

Sunday, September 14, 2008

John McCain and The Truth

This blog is dedicated to the Truth.

John McCain lies. A lot:

Sunday, September 07, 2008

The Chris Matthews Show - September 7, 2008

The Chris Matthews Show
September 7, 2008

Mitchell: Sarah Palin is the poster child for inclusiveness

Tweety: wow!

Andrea: Obama and McCain will be together at Ground Zero which proves McCain can be non-partisan

Tweety: and what does it show about Obama?

Andrea: that he's a partisan phony

Klein: the convention was an offensive Orwellian nightmare of mooseburgers

Tweety: where was Bush?

Klein: hell they distanced themselves from the Republican party

Tweety: i love it!

Heileman: i heard a rumor than John McCain is a Republican

Tweet: wow do you a newsletter?

Tweety: McCain is the skipper

Andrea: Obama is Gilligan

Norris: Obama has to be a leader and an everyman it's a fine line

Tweety: he's either too street or an elitist

Klein: Obama has to come across as a white human being

Matthews: bomb bomb iran

Tweety: everyone says Obama will get swing voters to let's talk to the one who doesn't - Andrea!

Andrea: John McCain is the best ever!

Klein: oh fer gawd's sake

Tweety: let's talk about Sarah Palin - the mom, the neighbor, the strong female fighting for justice, the PTA

Klein: i love it!

Tweety: she's like a female version of Norma Rae!

Andrea: that's why i love you tweety - you never change

Tweety: who is best person in the history of politics?

Andrea: sarah palin - she fought off the horrible nasty mean terrible liberal bloggers and gave the best speech since the gettysburg address

Klein: yes but she is also stupid

Norris: it's only been 12 days

Klein: A Fortnight of Fuckups

Norris: who cares is he knows where Iran is - she kills moose

Heileman: let's face it McCain is going to die soon

Andrea: she smears with a smile

Tweety: how so

Andrea: she haz lunch-bucket!!!

Klein: but what are her policies?

Mitchell: it doesn't matter she's a hockey mom it's all narrative!

Tweety: biden will be beat her up

Heileman: fuck Biden for calling her sweetie if he ever does

Andrea: i hate Biden for potentially calling her gal or baby or sugartits

Tweety: tell me something I don’t know

Klein: new energy bill is mccain v obama battle

Andrea: Palin will never give an interview it turns out she knows nothing

Heileman: michigan michigan michigan

Tweety: Kwame!