Sunday, January 03, 2010

This Week With George Stephanopoulos hosted by Terry Moran - January 3, 2010

January 3, 2010
Host: Terry Moran
John Brennan - Director of DHS
Rep. Pete Hoekstra
Sen. Susan Collins
Sen. Joe Lieberman
Rep. Jane Harman

Moran: John why did we close the Yemen embassy

Brennan: well as soon we found out we had one we closed it

Moran: why?

Brennan: dude the hostage crisis killed Jimmy Carter - we’re not going to let that happen again

Moran: when are we invading Yemen?

Brennan: we don’t have to - the happy little Yemen government is going to get al qaeda for us

Moran: really?

Brennan: ha no just kidding

Moran: who dropped the ball with that Nigerian kid with the explosive underpants?

Brennan: from now on whenever a dad calls and says ‘hey my kid is a terror loving-lunatic’ we won’t put them on hold

Moran: bad news for liz cheney

Brennan: indeed

Moran: how come the CIA is stupider than Google or Facebook?

Brennan: free market baby

Moran: that’s sad

Brennan: just watch college football and enjoy it

Moran: Should Janet Napolitano be fired because of underwear boy?

Brennan: If Bush were President she’d get the Medal of Fearrdom

Moran: you mean freedom

Brennan: right

Moran: 7 CIA officers were just killed in Afghanistan

Brennan: we’re trying to make sure it will never happen again

Moran: we could leave Afghanistan

Brennan: no we can’t because there are cunning swarthy people in that far off land in central asia

Moran: Pete you just got back from Yemen - did you run into Osama bin Laden?

Hoekstra: sadly the innocent people we tortured at Gitmo are not happy about it

Moran: who knew?

Hoekstra: also there are many Americans who look forward to more terror attacks under Obama

Moran: we’ll get to Dick Cheney later

Lieberman: we have to declare war on Yemen

Moran: why did Janet Napolitano let the underoo bomber kill all those Americans?

Collins: I don’t know maybe she hates America

Lieberman: we need bipartisan hearings to determine which brown people we should kill next

Moran: hasn’t the time come to stop releasing the innocent people we tortured - I mean if they didn’t hate us before they sure do now

Harman: we should let them go just not send them to Yemen cause it’s a crazy place

Moran: but you think we should release them?

Harman: yes let them live free in a prison in Illinois

Moran: what should America do now?

Harman: we need a global anti-terror strategy

Moran: what an interesting idea

Harman: also we should use Bush’s privacy and civil liberties board

Moran: how would that help

Harman: when we repeal all civil rights they can give us cover

Moran: isn’t it obvious that we can’t stop every attack?

Hoekstra: kill kill kill!

Moran: shouldn’t we start profiling brown people?

Collins: to me the real question is why wasn’t the rule invoked that whenever your dad calls an embassy about you your visa is revoked?

Moran: should this teenage Nigerian be put on trial?

Lieberman: no this misguided kid should be put in a military brig, tortured, and disappeared - that will prove the terrorists are evil!

Moran: what about Gitmo?

Lieberman: I know Gitmo has a bad reputation-

Moran: because of the non-stop gruesome tortures?

Lieberman: yes but other than that it’s an incredibly humane facility - after all they have free health care and involuntary snorkeling

Moran: any other crazy ideas?

Lieberman: yes the CIA should be in charge of visas and also Africans should not be allowed to fly

Moran: isn’t Dick Cheney right that Obama doesn’t care about terrorism

Harman: no that’s stupid

Moran: but Dick is so strong - he shot an innocent guy!

Harman: we’re not at war on terrorism - we’re at war with al qaeda

Moran: Pete isn’t it disgusting to raise money for governor off an attempted terror attack

Hoektra: hey I finally got Obama to recognize that threats are real

Moran: thank for coming you repulsive man

Lieberman: thank you terry

Moran: I was talking to Pete Hoekstra

Joe: oh sorry - force of habit

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