Thursday, January 28, 2010

Party in Hawaii!

The Republican Party’s leadership plans to watch President Barack Obama’s
State of the Union speech tonight from a Hawaiian resort’s South Pacific Ballroom.

More than 100 RNC members are at the
conference at the oceanfront Hilton Hawaiian Village amid
swimming pools and lagoons in the city where Obama was born.

Bob Bennett, 70, an RNC member from Cleveland, Ohio, said
there is no shame in meeting in a palm-tree-lined locale, though
he also said, “If you took a poll of members, they probably
would have held it a little closer to home.”

Michael Steele, the RNC chairman, told the Associated Press
he isn’t concerned about gathering in a lush place and wants to
recognize the efforts of Republicans from Hawaii and U.S.
territories in the Pacific Ocean who usually must travel to the
mainland for such events. “Hawaii’s going through a recession, too,” Steele told
AP. “So we’re going to help the economy a little bit.”

After the State of the Union, RNC members plan a luau with
a speech by Hawaii Lieutenant Governor James “Duke” Aiona, a
Republican candidate for governor in the state.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Drooling Over Pickups

Chuck Raasch
USA Today

“The pickup has become a symbol of so much more than a ride. Fred Thompson drove to the Senate from Tennessee in his. In Massachusetts, Senator-elect Scott Brown’s GMC, with 201,000 miles on the odometer, became a metaphor for his unlikely journey in the unlikeliest of uprising states. It was a touchstone for deeper political trends: the fading connection between the political and working classes, the hemorrhaging of made-in-America jobs, the meltdown of the American auto industry, the rise of independents in the public square, and Democrats’ collective tin ear in the wake of a fresh anti-Washington uprising. The pickup is as good an expression as any of American independence in 2010. It’s halfway between sedan and SUV, neither a BMW nor a Smart Car, functional in city, suburbia and farm field, ready for both a gun rack and the haul to the organic farmers’ market vegetable stand. It’s the kind of vehicle many blue-collar independents drove to the polls to vote for Brown.”

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Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Gregg Hitt and Tamara Audi - Fair and Unbalanced

"High Turnout Seen in Massachusetts Battle Close Race for Senate Galvanizes Supporters"
January 19, 2010

By Gregg Hitt and Tamara Audi

Quotes from Brown supporters: 2
Quotes from Coakley supporters: 0

Quotes from chair of RNC: 1
Quotes from chair of DNC: 0

Quotes from a Republican strategist: 1
Quotes from a Democratic strategist: 0

Wall St. Journal:

In Littleton, Mass., Alex Olsen, a professor at the University of Massachusetts, said he's fed up with Mr. Obama and the Democratic majority. He voiced strong discontent with efforts to push the health bill through the Senate. "They're just trying to ram things down our throats," said Mr. Olsen, 65, an independent. "People are just so sick and tired of being treated like second-class citizens."

Gene Giordano, 65, an engineer from Salisbury, Mass., said he voted for Ross Perot
and Ralph Nader in past presidential campaigns and plans to support Mr. Brown Tuesday.

"I just believe in this fellow, for some reason," he said. Mr. Giordano voiced concern
with the Obama administration's decision to put terrorists on trial in the U.S., and said he wants more parity between the parties in the Senate. "I'm a man of balance," he said.


Quotes from Coakley supporters: None

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Health Care Reform with 51 Votes?

Even if Democrats lose the Jan. 19 special election to pick a new Massachusetts senator, Congress may still pass a health-care overhaul by using a process called reconciliation, a top House Democrat said.

“Even before Massachusetts and that race was on the radar screen, we prepared for the process of using reconciliation,” said Chris Van Hollen of Maryland, chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee.

Using reconciliation would likely force Democrats to scale back their health-care plans. The procedure is designed to make deficit-cutting easier by reducing the number of votes needed to pass unpopular tax increases and spending cuts. Lawmakers can’t include policy changes that the parliamentarian deems have only an “incidental” connection to budget-cutting, and senators would need 60 votes to override those rulings.

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Thursday, January 14, 2010

VATICAN BLASTS AVATAR

Vatican City (AP) -- The Vatican newspaper and radio
station have called the film "Avatar" simplistic, and
criticized it for flirting with modern doctrines that promote
the worship of nature as a substitute for religion.

L'Osservatore Romano said the film "gets bogged down by a
spiritualism linked to the worship of nature." Similarly,
Vatican Radio said it "cleverly winks at all those
pseudo-doctrines that turn ecology into the religion of the
millennium. Nature is no longer a creation to defend, but a divinity
to worship," the radio said.

In a recent World Day of Peace message, the pontiff warned
against any notions that equate human person and other living
things. He said such notions "open the way to a new pantheism
tinged with neo-paganism, which would see the source of man's
salvation in nature alone."

The Vatican newspaper occasionally likes to comment in its
cultural pages on movies or pop culture icons, as it did
recently about "The Simpsons" or U2. In one famous instance,
several Vatican officials spoke out against "The Da Vinci
Code."

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Monday, January 11, 2010

THIS WEEK IN MEAT

Russian police busted a ring of smugglers supplying markets in Moscow and other cities with 36- year-old meat from Latin America, state television reported. The Interior Ministry said its economic security unit seized a truck carrying 22 tons of meat that was “deep frozen” when former Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev was in power, Vesti-24 reported today.

THIS WEEK IN MEAT PART II

Orangeburg, S.C. (AP) -- A South Carolina man has been sentenced to 10 years in prison for stealing an $80 slab of meat testified he was "massaging" the meat, not stealing it.

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

DUMBASSES OF THE DAY

Irish Police Seize Explosives After Failed Slovak Security Test

Irish police seized explosives in Dublin today after Slovak authorities contacted them about a failed airport security exercise last weekend. Slovak authorities concealed the material in an airline passenger’s luggage without the man’s consent as he travelled to Dublin on Jan. 2, Ireland’s Justice Ministry said in an e-mailed statement. They contacted Irish airport police today to inform them about the explosives. The Slovak government has expressed "profound regret" for the incident, which Irish police are investigating, the ministry said.

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Sunday, January 03, 2010

Meet the Press - January 3, 2010

Guests:
John Brennan
Hayden
Michael Chertoff
Tom Brokaw
Doris Goodwin
E.J. Dionne
David Brooks
**************************

Gregory: Brennan why did Janet Napolitano say things went great even though a terror attack was thwarted?

Brennan: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: what did the CIA know about underwear before 12/24?

Brennan: Boxer-briefs are the most comfortable way to go

Gregory: how do we win the war on terror?

Brennan: degrading people who hate us

Gregory: how could the government let underpants-boy on a plane!?!

Brennan: calm down Fluffy

Gregory: but I’m scared!

Brennan: the government has to be seamless and perfect every day

Gregory: dear god

Gregory: should we get rid of privacy rights?

Brennan: maybe - the Dutch have full nude body scanners

Gregory: yeah but they are all tall and incredibly good looking

Brennan: that’s a good point

Gregory: why aren’t we torturing this Nigerian kid?

Brennan: oh I don’t know - the law or something

Gregory: boooooorrrring!!!!!

Brennan: we’ve got Jack McCoy getting a strong plea deal right now

Gregory: should we send accused terrorists who hate us back to Yemen?

Brennan: like George W. Bush did?

Gregory: never heard of him - did he work for Dick Cheney?

Brennan: something like that

Gregory: President Cheney says Obama surrendered to terrorists

Brennan: Dick should spend a little more time not shooting his friends and a little time undermining the President of the United States

Gregory: when are we going to catch Osama?

Brennan: we had him at Tora Bora and Bush let him get away

Gregory: what’s the deal with Yemen anyway?

Hayden: it’s terror-central

Gregory: you released terrorists from Gitmo and sent them to Yemen!

Hayden: that’s true but we had to - we ran out of orange chicken

Gregory: what mistakes did Bush make?

Hayden: we were too soft on terrorists

Gregory: right

Gregory: what about right to privacy?

Chertoff: plane travelers have the right to life dammit!

Gregory: isn’t the underwear bombing proof that the Bush system doesn’t work?

Chertoff: hey Fluffy it worked for 7 years when we never had an attack or attempted attack

Gregory: should we have full body scanners?

Chertoff: oh yes and the fact that I get rich off selling it is irrelevant

Gregory: what’s it’s called?

Chertoff: “Scan-Wow!”

Gregory: ok

Chertoff: blame those civil liberty loving Dutch - we should bypass them entirely

Gregory: pass the Dutchie on the left hand side

Gregory: some terror guy told me that 90% of terrorists are young muslim men

Chertoff: well that person was using you to spout bullshit Fluffers

Gregory: unpossible

Gregory: should Dick Cheney criticize Obama or does that make him unpatriotic like Dick Cheney would say?

Hayden: people need to stop hyperventilating

Gregory: oh noes!

Gregory: isn’t Obama weak on terror?

Hayden: no but he could torture more

Chertoff: Obama has said we are at war but putting KSM on trial in New York city will weaken America

Gregory: because terrorists will attack if they think they will only go to a supermax prison

[ break ]

Gregory: how has Obama handled his first 3:00 am phone call?

Brokaw: his failure to panic proved we are vulnerable to suicidal teenagers

Brooks: Obama failed but look bad things happen and people should stop crying every time some failed underpants bomber fucks up

Gregory: why does Dick Cheney whine so much?

Dionne: because he’s a dishonest ghoul

Gregory: that’s true

Dionne: even Bush officials think he’s a hypocritical lunatic

Gregory: Doris this is not as much fun as other wars

Goodwin: because we didn’t raise taxes or do anything but go shopping

Brokaw: we learned that we can’t kill every single muslim on earth

Gregory: too bad

Brooks: this all started in Iran in 1979 and we can see that regime dying right now

Gregory: so what do we do about it?

Brooks: cut off supplies on gasoline and pretend to be tough with a lot of empty words

Dionne: what a weasel you are david

Goodwin: this proves that Obama making diplomatic overtures to China has worked

Brooks: me strong!

Brokaw: the teabaggers rule America!

Dionne: sure Tom but repealing the health plan won’t be popular either

Brokaw: warble warble

Brooks: most people oppose the Obamacare plan

Goodwin: not the actual plan just the fake Fox news version of the plan

Brooks: no one knows what’s in the plan! And they oppose the plan!

Goodwin: idiot

Brooks: it rations care! And costs too much!

Brokaw: we should kill old useless people

Gregory: like you?

Brokaw: arble garble

Gregory: this decade really sucked

Goodwin: yes but epic failure represents great opportunity

Brokaw: this is nothing - the 60s really sucked

Brooks: the future belongs to the teabaggers

Gregory: good god

Dionne: Obama has to show government can work and that will show how stupid the teabaggers are

Brokaw: 9/11 general motors wall street urble burble

Gregory: and that’s the last word

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This Week With George Stephanopoulos hosted by Terry Moran - January 3, 2010

January 3, 2010
Host: Terry Moran
Guests:
John Brennan - Director of DHS
Rep. Pete Hoekstra
Sen. Susan Collins
Sen. Joe Lieberman
Rep. Jane Harman
*******************

Moran: John why did we close the Yemen embassy

Brennan: well as soon we found out we had one we closed it

Moran: why?

Brennan: dude the hostage crisis killed Jimmy Carter - we’re not going to let that happen again

Moran: when are we invading Yemen?

Brennan: we don’t have to - the happy little Yemen government is going to get al qaeda for us

Moran: really?

Brennan: ha no just kidding

Moran: who dropped the ball with that Nigerian kid with the explosive underpants?

Brennan: from now on whenever a dad calls and says ‘hey my kid is a terror loving-lunatic’ we won’t put them on hold

Moran: bad news for liz cheney

Brennan: indeed

Moran: how come the CIA is stupider than Google or Facebook?

Brennan: free market baby

Moran: that’s sad

Brennan: just watch college football and enjoy it

Moran: Should Janet Napolitano be fired because of underwear boy?

Brennan: If Bush were President she’d get the Medal of Fearrdom

Moran: you mean freedom

Brennan: right

Moran: 7 CIA officers were just killed in Afghanistan

Brennan: we’re trying to make sure it will never happen again

Moran: we could leave Afghanistan

Brennan: no we can’t because there are cunning swarthy people in that far off land in central asia

Moran: Pete you just got back from Yemen - did you run into Osama bin Laden?

Hoekstra: sadly the innocent people we tortured at Gitmo are not happy about it

Moran: who knew?

Hoekstra: also there are many Americans who look forward to more terror attacks under Obama

Moran: we’ll get to Dick Cheney later

Lieberman: we have to declare war on Yemen

Moran: why did Janet Napolitano let the underoo bomber kill all those Americans?

Collins: I don’t know maybe she hates America

Lieberman: we need bipartisan hearings to determine which brown people we should kill next

Moran: hasn’t the time come to stop releasing the innocent people we tortured - I mean if they didn’t hate us before they sure do now

Harman: we should let them go just not send them to Yemen cause it’s a crazy place

Moran: but you think we should release them?

Harman: yes let them live free in a prison in Illinois

Moran: what should America do now?

Harman: we need a global anti-terror strategy

Moran: what an interesting idea

Harman: also we should use Bush’s privacy and civil liberties board

Moran: how would that help

Harman: when we repeal all civil rights they can give us cover

Moran: isn’t it obvious that we can’t stop every attack?

Hoekstra: kill kill kill!

Moran: shouldn’t we start profiling brown people?

Collins: to me the real question is why wasn’t the rule invoked that whenever your dad calls an embassy about you your visa is revoked?

Moran: should this teenage Nigerian be put on trial?

Lieberman: no this misguided kid should be put in a military brig, tortured, and disappeared - that will prove the terrorists are evil!

Moran: what about Gitmo?

Lieberman: I know Gitmo has a bad reputation-

Moran: because of the non-stop gruesome tortures?

Lieberman: yes but other than that it’s an incredibly humane facility - after all they have free health care and involuntary snorkeling

Moran: any other crazy ideas?

Lieberman: yes the CIA should be in charge of visas and also Africans should not be allowed to fly

Moran: isn’t Dick Cheney right that Obama doesn’t care about terrorism

Harman: no that’s stupid

Moran: but Dick is so strong - he shot an innocent guy!

Harman: we’re not at war on terrorism - we’re at war with al qaeda

Moran: Pete isn’t it disgusting to raise money for governor off an attempted terror attack

Hoektra: hey I finally got Obama to recognize that threats are real

Moran: thank for coming you repulsive man

Lieberman: thank you terry

Moran: I was talking to Pete Hoekstra

Joe: oh sorry - force of habit
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