John McCain Unveils His Latest Ad Campaign

WOR 710 in New York City - Home to Michael Savage

By now you know probably know what Michael Savage said about autism. Savage is carried in NYC for three hours a day, five days a week, on WOR 710 AM.

Let's meet some of the friendly people at WOR:

According to the website, Jerry Crowley is the Vice President and General Manager.

According to his bio, Jerry has been with WOR for 13 years, most recently as Vice President and Director of Sales for WOR and the WOR Radio Network. Commenting on his promotion to Vice President/ General Manager of WOR, Jerry said, "This is the highlight of my career. WOR is a heritage, legendary radio station that has affected the lives of millions of listeners, while providing entertainment and information for 85 years. I can think of no greater honor or responsibility than being General Manager of this outstanding property."

It's not known how Jerry Crowley feels about this:
"You know what autism is? I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is."

If you would like to express your opinion on what autism is, this is the WOR General Phone Number: (212) 642-4500

According to the website:
"To ask a question or make a comment about WOR’s Programming in general, please email Scott Lakefield, Assistant Program Director, at slakefield@wor710.com."

Or:

"To send an email to the WOR webmaster, or to ask a general question about WOR, please email Webmaster Chris Thompson at webmaster@wor710.com. He will forward your question to the appropriate person at WOR if needed."

Just a reminder:

SAVAGE:

"Now, you want me to tell you my opinion on autism, since I'm not talking about autism? A fraud, a racket. For a long while, we were hearing that every minority child had asthma. Why did they sudden -- why was there an asthma epidemic amongst minority children? Because I'll tell you why: The children got extra welfare if they were disabled, and they got extra help in school. It was a money racket. Everyone went in and was told [fake cough], "When the nurse looks at you, you go [fake cough], 'I don't know, the dust got me.' " See, everyone had asthma from the minority community. That was number one.

Now, the illness du jour is autism. You know what autism is? I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is.

What do you mean they scream and they're silent? They don't have a father around to tell them, "Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot."

Autism -- everybody has an illness. If I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, "Don't behave like a fool." The worst thing he said -- "Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry." That's what I was raised with. That's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men."

Source: Media Matters

The Chris Matthews Show - July 12, 2008

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The Chris Matthews Show
July 12, 2008
*********************************

Chris Matthews: omg teh Rocky mountains are going to be renamed the Baracky Mountains!!!

Dan Rather: he better carry Neuvo Mexico cause the Deer Hunters hate that elitist dood

Cynthia Tucker: he stole the primaries by registering young naive messiah-believing kids

Tweety: can he win Georgia?

Tucker: the black guy can win that state

Tweety: that’s good news for Obama!

Tucker: i was talking about Bob Barr

Howard Fineman: if the election were Sunday morning McCain wins because college kids will still be drunk but the tree hungers are early risers

Matthews: while Obama was swinging in the summer of love McCain was being bayoneted

Kelly O'Donnell: most young people don't even know McCain served in the Franco-Prussian war

Tweety: he's a good old American like John Wayne

Kelly: he never talks about his POW service he just runs endless ads on TV about it

Rather: it touches Americans deep in side

O'Donnell: McCain wants to remind young people that they and their friends could be killed in his war

Tweety: that's a winner!

Fineman: McCain shows he loves america by bombing people 7,000 miles away and Obama wants to bring people together

Tweety: doesn't sound very John Wayney to me

Tweety: VP!?!

O'Donnell: Obama should go with Evan Bayh

Fineman: that's stupid

O'Donnell: but he's popular

Fineman: he is caucasian which is good

Tweety: an asian and a black guy on one ticket?!!? Cynthia what about regular white peple??

Cynthia: Blonde on Blonde is good

Tweets: give me your wisdom kelly

Kelly: taking Colorado could work!!

Rahter: nah

Tucker: nope

Fineman: he's got to win Ohio

Tweety: why Johnny Can't Read???

Fineman: he's old

Tweety: he's got to be more Big Dog and less Ron Burgundy

Rather: heh like the time i said 'Go Fuck Yourself America'

Tweety: when was that?

Rather: every night i worked for CBS news

Chris Matthews: McCain's campaign staff Arizona is being shaken up so much the Headquarters is called "Shake 'n Bake"

Howard Fineman: no one ever really leaves they just die of old age

Kelly O'Donnell: McCain is crazy - but some people like that

Tweety: is he a total loon or just eccentric?

Kelly: well let's say he's at least one solider short of a platoon

Chris Matthews: tell me a story!

Kelly O'Donnell: GOP leaders will tell Bush the convention this year will be held in Alaska

Cynthia Tucker: another angry black man can be tied to Obama

Howard Fineman: Colin Powell is desperate to be vindicated by history

Chris Matthews: omg Obama will speak at a football stadium he must be a mile high!!

Dan Rather: mimi boppo

Kelly O'Donnell: it's terrible - too much security

Cynthia Tucker: it will be a let down cause he can't give a speech

Howard Fineman: duh it's brilliant

Tweety: of course it is

******************************************************

CHURCH PLANNED TO GIVE CHILDREN AUTOMATIC ASSAULT RIFLES

CHURCH CANCELS TEEN GUN GIVEAWAY

OKLAHOMA CITY -- An Oklahoma church canceled a controversial gun giveaway for teenagers at a weekend youth conference. Windsor Hills Baptist had planned to give away a semiautomatic assault rifle until one of the event's organizers was unable to attend.

The church’s youth pastor, Bob Ross, said it’s a way of trying to encourage young people to attend the event. The church expected hundreds of teenagers from as far away as Canada. “We have 21 hours of preaching and teaching throughout the week,” Ross said.

A video on the church Web site shows the shooting competition from last year’s conference. A gun giveaway was part of the event last year. This year, organizers included it in their marketing.

“I don’t want people thinking ‘My goodness, we’re putting a weapon in the hand of somebody that doesn’t respect it who are then going to go out and kill,'” said Ross. “That’s not at all what we’re trying to do.”

Ross said the conference isn’t all about guns, but rather about teens finding faith.

I beg to differ, Thers. THIS is the Dumbest Idea Ever.

Russians Stranded on Ice Floe

NOTHING TO SEE HERE!!!!

Twenty Russian scientists are to be evacuated from their camp on a drifting ice-floe in the Arctic after it started disintegrating sooner than expected.

The Russians had set up research station "North Pole 35" on the floe last September when it measured a safe five kilometres long and three kilometres wide, and their original plan was to stay on it until this September.

But after enduring the permanent night of the Arctic winter and surviving the threat of polar bears, the scientists now find that their temporary home has shrunk to just 600m by 300m and faces complete break-up as it drifts towards a current known to contain relatively warm waters.

Bears are the true enemy.

Friedman-Osama Unit

Also known as the F.O. Unit.

Tom Friedman would be so proud:

Bin Laden May Die of Kidney Disease in 6 Months, Time Reports

By Brian K. Sullivan

July 2 (Bloomberg) -- Al-Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden may die of kidney disease within the next six months, Time magazine reported, citing two unidentified U.S. officials.

Maybe the CIA has a camera in his gall bladder?

The Chris Matthews Show - June 29, 2008

Tweety: omg Hillary endorsed obama!!

Kay: she took her lumps and did what she needed to do to position herself for 2012

Tweety: what about teh scary women?? why won't they vote for john McCain??

Gregory: dood he's a man too

Tweety: yeah but he's sexier than Obama

Tweety: a pole came out that said Obama is only leading by 15 points -- he's gonna lose!!

Borger: he's fucked -- 80% of the country say we're on the wrong track

Tweety: those scary angry women!

Brooks: yes they are irrational but those little pretty haids will come to their senses

Tweety: Obama’s so cool

Tweety: he won so he has to supplicate himself to teh Hillary people

Gregory: like Bill

Tweety: ha!

Borger: they ran an inept campaign so Obama has to ask them for all their great ideas

Tweety: how many white women can he seize?

Kay: the supreme court!

Tweety: the war!

Tweety: Bill Clinton wants to remain the first black president

Gregory: he wants cash

Borger: is Bill Mandela or dirty laundry?

Kay: i hope you get psychiatric help someday chris matthews

Tweety: who are the hardest - women or blue collar dudes or oldsters??

Kay: Reagan dems

Brooks: independents

Matthews: ha! Obama and McCain are not baby boomers!

Tweety: omg Obama will choose a qualified veep in case he's killed!

Tweety: dan quayle told us george bush was an idiot

Borger: hey they did win

Tweety: so who does he choose

Borger: bentsen made dukakis look small

Gregory: he needs a good smart guy

Brooks: he needs to make a marriage with a handsome man like joe Biden

Matthews: Biden can carry catholics and pedantic dicks

Gregory: evan bayh has electric charisma and youthful vigor

Kay: are you all fucking kidding??

Tweety: Biden will carry the working class

Kay: Joe Biden??? what the fuck??

Tweety: doesn't he need a war monger??

Borger: he needs someone smart in foriegn affairs unlike Obama

Kay: he and john edwards get along

Tweety: but he's a lightweight

Brooks: it's all about governing he should choose Sam Nunn

Kay: have you ever once left the Beltway?

Brooks: i did once it was a horrible experience i was served a steak that was not medium-medium rare

Matthews: oh god no one suffers like we do

Tweety: sum up the week!

Kay: Bush was right about Zimbabwe it is a shitty place

Gregory: Hillary will not be on the ticket - he needs a war-talking guy

Borger: young voters this time will beat the shit out of older people

Brooks: Pelosi voted for FISA out of a favor to Obama

Tweety: do voters want change or national security - dems or GOP?

Kay: change

Borger: change

Gerogry: change

Brooks: change and to stay the same

Tweety: pick brooksie!

Brooks: why not change to create security?

Tweety: omg you just blew my mind

MCCAIN TO APPOINT MAGIC 8 BALL AS ATTORNEY GENERAL

MCCAIN TO APPOINT MAGIC 8 BALL AS ATTORNEY GENERAL

"Would be first black AG, experts say"

MSNBC
From NBC/NJ's Carrie Dann
MIAMI, FL – The question of whether or not President Bush overstepped his constitutional power by authorizing warrantless checks of Americans' international communications after 9/11 is "ambiguous," McCain said yesterday. But, he added, he hopes not to dwell on the issue.

"It's ambiguous as to whether the president acted within his authority or not," McCain told reporters at a press conference in the Florida Everglades yesterday.

The question of presidential authority has been a hot topic in past weeks, as key surveillance legislation has been gummed up in Congress. A sticking point has been the question of whether telecommunications companies can be prosecuted retroactively for participating in the post-9/11 surveillance. McCain, who believes that they should not face such penalties, called for the quick passage of that legislation, saying of the wiretapping debate that "the whole issue can be resolved by passing the FISA bill."

OBAMA CONVERTS TO JUDAISM

June 4, 2008
Washington, D.C.
Associated Press

OBAMA CONVERTS TO JUDAISM

Sen. Barack Obama, the presumed Democratic nominee for President, surprised many in the audience during his address to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee(AIPAC) Policy Conference by announcing his immediate conversion to Judaism. At the end of his speech, in which he discussed the Iraq war, Iran, a future Palestinian state, and U.S.-Israeli relations, Obama told the listeners he was now a Jew. “Fulfilling a lifelong spiritual quest, which has brought me from the faith of my father and stepfather, to the Christianity of my grandparents and my wife, I have finally a home in the Hebrew faith,” Obama told the gathering of largely Jewish activists. “I look forward to sharing my faith with my Jewish brothers and sisters, and someday visiting the homeland of my people, Israel,” said Obama, to applause.

AIPAC member Alan Weisman, a Washington lawyer, was pleased. “I think it’s great. He will be the fist Jewish President, unless you count Abraham Lincoln,” he said. Others were more skeptical. Hannah Kotlowitz said, “I’m sorry, but no. The blood of Moses doesn’t flow through his veins.”

Obama said he will begin studying Hebrew this summer, in anticipation of a bar mitzvah after he becomes President. “I would like to introduce my new spiritual advisor, Rabbi Harold Meyerson, who I am assured has never said anything controversial in his whole life,” Obama told the gathering.

In a brief interview, Obama said he has always felt close the Jewish people. “My grandfather helped liberate Buchenwald, plus I’ve seen all of Woody Allen’s movies, as well as ‘Fiddler on the Roof’, ‘Yentl’, ‘An American Tale’, and ‘A Stranger Among Us’,” he said.

Experts said the move will help Obama politically. Rep. Steve Rothman, the only member of the New Jersey Congressional delegation to endorse Obama, said “I’m thrilled. This will really help voters in my district get a sense of who Obama really is - one of them.”

Pat Buchanan called the conversion “shrewd.” “It’s brilliant - although some will see it at expediency, it’s a clever tactical move that can only help him,” said Buchanan. Buchanan said that in fact, at one time he and William Safire had thought of approaching President Richard Nixon about converting to Judaism to help win the 1972 election, but “just as we were walking into the Oval Office to discuss it, he was telling Billy Graham about those ‘goddamm jews trying to bring me down,’ so we dropped the idea.” Tim Russert of NBC said the move makes sense. “This will help Obama with a key Democratic constituency he has problems with, Jewish voters. Plus, you know Sammy Davis Jr. was Jewish.”

WE ALREADY HAVE SANCTIONS AGAINST IRAN

The world should launch a divestment campaign against Iran to curb its nuclear ambitions and reduce potential threats to Israel's security, Republican U.S. presidential candidate John McCain said on Monday.

"We should privatize the sanctions against Iran by launching a worldwide divestment campaign," McCain told a meeting of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), comparing such a move to similar efforts that helped bring an end to apartheid in South Africa.

"As more people, businesses, pension funds and financial institutions across the world divest from companies doing business with Iran, the radical elite who run that country will become even more unpopular than they are already," he said.

McCain, it's called OFAC: here is their website.

The Chris Matthews Show - June 1, 2008

*************************************
The Chris Matthews Show

June 1, 2008
*************************************

Chris: how does Obama win the idiot vote?

Cynthia: he has to tie McCain to Bush and helpfully the base keeps pushing McCain to swear fealty to nazis and assorted loonies

Fineman: independent morons are the real deciders but john kerry had a really big head and that put people off

Chris: Obama is losing independents!

Kelly: he's a military guy which means he will salute bush and then call him a shithead behind his back

Chris: who is more independent?

Kelly: McCain because he believes in global warming

Chris: so does Obama

Kelly: but to be independent you have to buck your party so Obama must condemn reality

Chris: Obama is not necessarily a regular person - let's face it that's one hell of a tan

Cynthia: Obama is now an elitist with a father from kenya

Chris: when is Obama going to visit Iraq and see what's really going on

Kelly: McCain hates Obama

Fineman: yes it's shocking Obama welched and McCain is a thin-skinned nutjob

Chris: who is a good person Obama or McCain?

Cynthia: normal people don't vote that way

Matthews: i do

Cynthia: as i was saying

Chris: ha!

Cynthia: who is the real american here - Admiral McCain or Obama the dirty muslim who hates the flag

Fineman: McCain is stuck in the briar patch

Chris: oh noes the tar baby

Stengel: no one knows McCain

Chris: i had a five year love affair with john McCain i know him pretty well

Chris: OMG McClellan was hapless!!

Kelly: ha but really he hated telling all those lies

Chris: what a sweetheart he is

Kelly: i just want to take him home and cuddle him and tell him it will be all right

Chris: me too

Matthews: Scottie says Bush lied!!

Kelly: McCain is planning on smiling manically for the rest of the campaign

Matthews:: they trash Scottie but they admit they lied and committed treason

Fineman: yes they floated the idea that Scottie is a dirty hippie who works for Atrios

Stengel: yes Atrios was right all along but he has an agenda - he is in league with the Truth Lobby

Cynthia Tucker: that's old news

Chris: McClellan says if Bush had known he would have killed so many people he would not have killed so many people

Kelly: Bush is wonderful

Stengel: like Reagan wow he is great

Chris: wrap up!

Kelly: McCain Unleashed!!!

Stengel: Obama must pay fealty to Israel so say the people in Israel

Tucker: georgia is in play for Obama

Chris: he must go to Tblisi!!

Fineman: Teddy Kennedy will unite the Clintons and Obama and heal this nation and usher in a new progressive age

Chris: i had a crush on Joe The Forgotten Kennedy

Fineman: he was handsome yes

Chris: will Clinton like Joan of Arc lead her army to help Obama

Stegnel: yes to help Brand Hillary

Tucker: only reluctantly

Fineman: the key is Bill they are his people after all

Chris: make him DNC chair

Fineman: yeah that's a good idea

Democratic Party Rules Committee Meeting - May 31, 2008

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DNC Rules Meeting
Subject: Florida and Michigan
Washington, DC
May 31, 2008
************************************

Alice Huff: i know this is against the rules but rules were made to be broken - and I know this could cause problems in 2012 but by then i could be dead

Other person: Rules are rules and rules must be followed or they're not rules

Other other person: this won't pass and that saddens me because we a party of inclusion

[ yay!! ]

Germond: When we wrote the rules we made sure they had meat and beef and force - dammit these were beauty contests and that tough because Hillary is attractive but Obama is handsome too

Germond: we believe in rules and to ignore the rules to be like George W. Bush!

[ ooooooh ]

Ickes: i wrote these fuckin' rules and even i don't what the fuck is going on - except that damm young black man is p0wng me

Pasquil: Rules are rules except when they are not rules

Herman: vote carries by 2/3 !!!

psych! just the vote to close debate

[ ooooooh ]

Herman: all in favor

[ YAYYYYYY!!! ]

Herman: where was all this enthusiasm in 2000 goddamit?

Herman: all opposed say Boooooo

[ BOOOOOOO ]

Herman: quiet please!

[ JENNIFER !!! JENNIFER!!!! ]

Herman: what the fuck are those weirdos saying?

Wolf: they are saying “Denver” -- apparently there are many Bronco fans here

Black Guy: in light of Obama's awesomeness i move that each pledged delegate can only cast 3/5 of a vote and in addition each delegate shall be made to wear a dashiki or a pink pantsuit at all times on the floor of the convention

Huff: you sneaky motherfucker!!!

Huff: what this party needs is unity

[ FUCK THAT SHIT! ]

Huff: you are about to the best of this party in action

[ cue porno music ]

Huff: hey protestors shut the goddam fuck up and act like grownups instead of little kids

[ WHAAAAAAAA ]

Ickes: i'll take half a loaf

Herman: gee i wonder if this was planned in advance

Ickes: hey i wore my 'regular guy' shirt

Herman: all in favor of Unity 08 Compromise clap your hands and say yeah

[ YEAH !! ]

Herman: seems unanimous to me

Michigan delegate: i move Michigan gets divided - hillary gets the palm and Obama gets the fingers and thumb

Fowler: my first choice was hillary clinton and i know harold ickes and i love him and that night was very special but i must move back in with my wife

Ickes: this is not my day dammitt

Ickes: we find this body's support for hillary clinton's former position inexplicable

Herman: uh huh

Ickes: this will hijack delegates just like a terrorist and this body is just a bunch of fascists and stealing votes from 600,000 - that's not democracy

Herman: no democracy is an election where only one person is on the ballot

Ickes: you bet your sweet ass

[yay]

Ickes: yeah you bet your ass the election was fucking flawed

Dawson: watch your language motherfucker

Ickes: you want a piece of me shitface?

Dawson: right now dickwad

Ickes: Hijacker!!

Fowler: i love that man



Ickes: fuck your fucking unity and shove it up your goddamm fucking ass

[ YAYYYYYY!!!!!! ]

Ickys: oh by they way if Hillary doesn't win she won't abide by your decision

Member: holy crap that guy really is a dick isn't he

Protestor: what about Iowa???

Counter-Protestor: shut up!!

Protestor: you shut up!!

[tv audience: ]

[yep this sounds like the Democratic party i know and love ]

Black Guy: Fuck harold ickes and his shitty selective amnesia and i hope he takes his lying ass back to political oblivion

Smith: i had my hand up!

Chair: didn't you see you white lady

Smith: fuck you fat man

Smith: i've been a democrat all my life by i just discovered that we have to support all the delegates in Michigan it makes me very very sad

Chair: thank you for your concern

Chair: motion carries

[ DENVER!! DENVER!!! ]

Chair: please please please

[ BOOOOO ARRRR GRRRR YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!! ]

Chair: watch me looney

[ OBAMA! ALGER HISS! THE ROSENBERGS!! FREE MUMIA!! AREA 51!!! ]

Chair: and now on to new business - all in favor of cold cuts and fruit salad at the next meeting vote yeah

VAST CRACKS APPEAR IN ARCTIC ICE

Vast cracks appear in Arctic ice

By David Shukman
Environment correspondent, BBC News

Dramatic evidence of the break-up of the Arctic ice-cap has emerged from research during an expedition by the Canadian military.

Scientists travelling with the troops found major new fractures during an assessment of the state of giant ice shelves in Canada's far north.

The team found a network of cracks that stretched for more than 10 miles (16km) on Ward Hunt, the area's largest shelf.

The fate of the vast ice blocks is seen as a key indicator of climate change.

For Memorial Day, Black Entertainment TV is showing a "Diffr'nt Strokes" marathon.

Make of that what you will.

*********

Just a few months ago...

MEET THE PRESS - May 25, 2008

*******************************************
Meet The Press
Tim Russert and Assorted D.C. pundits
MoDo, Parson Meachem, Doris Footnote Goodwin, Xian Brody, Gwen Ifill
May 25, 2008
*******************************************

Russert: omg Hillary hopes Obama get killed!!

Goodwin: in her defense her analogy was completely wrong plus its clear her people have been hoping he blows up with another revelation like a crazy Reverend or a black child

Dowd: indeed they are hoping something terrible happens to him

Ifill: I fear it all the time so yeah it was disturbing

Meachem: you can't go wrong with good "meaning of is is" joke

Panel: HA HA HA HA

Meachem: she is hoping disaster befalls the nominee

Russert: you gotta have hope

Parson Jon: she is Reagan in '76

Timmy: Obama could be within 12 delegates in a week

Brody: he's got two opposition research teams attacking him at once

Russert: but he hasn't been vetted yet

Brody: right

Timmy: has she earned the right to be V.P.??

Marcus: yeah talking about Bobby's assassination is just the way to earn the invitation

Question: is Bill Clinton a pain in the ass?

Obama: that's not what i heard

Audience: ha ha ha

Obama: look i'm a pragmatist and Doris Goodwin plagiarized a good book called 'Team of Rivals' about Lincoln and even though he was named Abraham he took some non-jews in his cabinet so I might take some non-muslims

Goodwin: good idea you want the enemies pissing out as LBJ would say

Russert: Maureen is it all sexism??

Dowd: pure Poppy Cock

Russert: What does George Herbert Walker Bush have to do with this?

Dowd: she also resorts to sexism when she fails - she's like a prettier Al Sharpton

Russert: did she lose because of sexism?

Marcus: she was playful and tough and won't be the nominee because ran a bad campaign

Brody: now that she has lost to play the sexism card is whiny

Ifill: sexist!!!

Goodwin: resentment and victimhood looks bad for a woman who has accomplished so much

Russert: which is it - is she more electable than Obama or a victim of national rampant national sexism?

Meachem: god go with her

Tim: what the fuck parson Jon?

Meachem: i am not a racist or sexist i just happen to always vote for white men

Brody: this race ended in Iowa

Russert: wow

Brody: they blew it with the caucuses

Tim: that's not sexism its competence

Dowd: they helped write the rules and they still blew tens of millions of dollars

Ifill: the black voters were originally with her too

Tim: can a black man win the presnit

Meacham: in theory yes - in reality no

Tim: what the fuck does that mean parson

Jon: Obama scores on the race resentment index

Tim: what's that

Meachem: the Scary Black Man Score

Ifill: hell i'm queasy too

Parson Jon: this is why McCain is still doing well after all he is a real American

Ifill: we have to talk about race in America

Meachem: we have an Open Letter to Obama from Harold Ford about how to win over voters

Tim: didn't he lose?

Meachem: that's what makes him so perfect for Newsweek

Ifill: what about McCain

Meachem: he's a Saint

Goodwin: people don't even know his momma was white

Tim: they think he's a muslim!!!

Brody: Obama is having Family Faith outreach discussion it's about family

Tim: what is that code for?

Brody: christian law

Marcus: he's all about faith McCain is an atheist

Tim: which faith the muslim or the other one?

Marcus: both

Tim: but McCain is reaching out the family values crowd by seeking the endorsement of neo-Nazis

Dowd: yeah you can bash Catholics but not embrace Hitler

Brody: well he's in trouble now Hitler is very popular with the Republican base

Tim: will McCain pick Bobby Jindal

Ifill: give me a fucking break we have nothing to report on this summer what else would be do

Tim: spend time with our families?

Panel: Ha Ha Ha Ha

Meachem: speaking of Henry II....

Tim: shut up you pretentious twit

McCain: i was a POW!!

Goodwin: hey Lincoln and FDR were not soldiers either

McCain: will not use my opponents youth and inexperience against him

Obama: fuck that shit

Dowd: McCain has a problem he's a fucking jerk

Brody: he can't be commander in chief because of Rezco and Jeremiah Wright

Ifill: Response: McBush!!

This Week With George Stephanopoulos - May 25, 2008

********************************************
This Week With George Stephanopoulos
May 25, 2008
Guest: David Axelrod
********************************************

Stephanopoulos: dave you know that Hillary wasn't really saying Clinton wasn't hoping that Obama be assassinated right dood

AxelRod: yeah but even she admitted it was pretty bad

Steph: yeah but you loved stirring this pot

AxelRod: let's move on we've gotten enough mileage out of it

Steph: Hillary says today she has lost the math but is still better than Obama

AxelRod: yeah she also counts phantom votes from Michigan

Steph: she says he is more popular than he is

AxelRod: well this isn't American Idol -- after all the wrong guy won that too

Steph: Mich and Florida are two of our more fucked up states

AxelRod: indeed they are - but we have to throw the crazies a bone

Steph: when do you wrap this up?

AxelRod: either June or September

Steph: she says she is better than you nationally

AxelRod: not true - look at Virginia or California or Ohio

Steph: 25% of Democrats hate you

AxelRod: McCain doesn't even have an opponent and he can't win 70% - it's sad

Steph: you lost Kentucky and West Virginia

AxelRod: that's ok Obama is going to run with that banjo-playing kid from Deliverance -- that will put us over the top

Steph: wow big news

AxelRod: ding ding ding ding ding....

Steph: Feinstein says you should run with Hillary

AxelRod: nope - we have women who know about the high price of milk

Steph: Got Milk?

A-Rod: GOT MLK?

Steph: Hillary fans will stay home cause Obama is sexist

A-Rod: well I hope they are happy when Roe v Wade is overturned

Steph: McCain says Obama should get a drivers license before he becomes president

A-Rod: this coming from a guy whose family won't let him drive the family car

Steph: why, too old?

A-Rod: no the jangling keys scare him

[ break ]

Steph: hello Karl and congrats for staying out of prison

Karl Rove: McCain is old but Obama is about change

Steph: play concern troll for me

Rove: Obama is a hypocrite he should spend the summer working with Republicans passing legislation

Steph: that's ridiculous why would the GOP give him legislation in middle of 2008

Rove: ok let him put a Republican on the ticket

Steph: you're full of great ideas

Steph: what about McCain?

Rove: he has to be the change and reform candidate

Steph: Huggy Bear???

Rove: he must fake it like my wife does

Steph: he's screwed isn't he?

Rove: no he must authentically play the fear and race card

Steph: even Mike Murphy told McCain to stop acting like an jerk

Rove: that's Nagourney he's an asshole

Steph: what else does he need to do

Rove: get 4 decades younger

Steph: the GOP is toxic and radioactive

Rove: these things wax and wane but people are basically conservative

Steph: they just hate karl rove and george bush

Rove: eeeeeek

Steph: you're losing seats left and right

Rove: true but lets put this in context we only lost because the Dems pointed out that the GOP is totally corrupt not that our ideas are bad

Steph: this is all your fault isn't it?

Rove: our hopes lie with John Boehner

Steph: omg you are truly fucked

Rove: hey i won my elections - fuck the younger generation

Steph: you conspired to put Don Siegelman in prison and now they are going after you piggy

Rove: oh c'mon all the people accused of crimes have denied it

Steph: that's not persuasive

Rove: well how about I argue separation of powers applies here

Steph: that allows you to commit crimes?

Rove: we offered to meet with Congress in secret and sadly they said no

Steph: ok tell me the truth about Don Siegelman

Rove: i learned that he was convicted from the newspaper

Steph: so you are not denying you broke the law, ruined the Justice department, and put innocent people in prison

Rove: who me?

Steph: yeah, dipshit you

Rove: well then no
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The Daily Show with John Stewart - Guest: Douglas Feith - May 12, 2008

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The Daily Show with John Stewart
Guest: Douglas Feith
May 12, 2008
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Stewart: did you lie to kill 4,000 Americans

Feith: no I am very stupid but not a liar

Stewart: oh ok

Feith: true invading Iraq was very risky

Stewart: ah you also lied about how safe it was going to be

Feith: no you're forgetting how stupid i am - see I also was dumb about all that too

Stewart: you seem really, really stupid

Feith: not just me - Rumsfeld and Bush too

Feith: looking back i admit we were wrong about one thing - saying Iraq had WMD and that we would be greeted as liberators

Stewart: now that sounds like lying and deception to sell a product and killing people

Feith: oh sure you remember we tried to sell the war because it went really badly - but if the war had gone well i would be writing a book right now reminding people that we were really against the war

Stewart: all due respect Stupid i think i remember you guys selling this war like it was the Superbowl with blowjobs and orgasms

Feith: now that sounds fun - do you want a job

Stewart: c'mon didn't you sell this war with a pack of lies

Feith: well sure looking back we told lies but the lies were only clear in hindsight

Stewart: i don't believe you just fucked up

Feith: no no no - i disagree i believe this administration is mostly morons

Stewart: really?

Feith: The Bush administration is like Wagner -- it's better than it sounds

Stewart: but not as much fun to be around

Feith: that's why i wrote the book - to get my revisionst lies out there

Stewart: good luck with that dumbass

Feith: George Bush is like me and my golden retriever - dumb but loyal

Stewart: you guys totally invented the Iraq threat and mobilized this country for war with great effort

Feith: oh you're just assuming we wanted war

Stewart: i am - but in this case you had to work had to make a case for war

Feith: no you must understand - we don't *think* at all

Stewart: um, what?

Feith: look after 9/11 George Bush decided the best way to prevent another 9/11 was to invent a case against Iraq because he once tried to his daddy

Stewart: why didn't you focus on diplomacy?

Feith: we tried that - it was a lovely nanosecond

Feith: diplomacy failed when Saddam let the inspectors in and we realized he was not serious about war and cheated by agreeing to our demands

Stewart: but you lied

Feith: we had to lie because after 9/11 we need to prevent another 9/11 by attacking coutries before they ever thought of attacking us

Stewart: don't you see how immoral that kind of lying is

Feith: no i really don't

Stewart: well fuck off ya fuckin war criminal

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60 Minutes with Doug Feith - April 6, 2008

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60 Minutes
April 6, 2008
Guest: Doug Feith
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Kroft: why did we invade iraq?

Feith: Saddam had a very scary mustache

Kroft: but he wasn't involved in 9/11

Feith: but he could have been

Kroft: but he wasn't

Feith: but he could have

Kroft: but he wasn't

Feith: we had to attack someone

Kroft: so why Saddam?

Feith: he once attacked Iran

Kroft: you're fucking kidding right

Feith: it's ‘anticipatory self defense’

Kroft: i think hitler did that to poland in 1939

Feith: exactly

Kroft: you all said we were about to be attacked

Feith: no we didn't

Kroft: [ plays endless clips of people in the Administration saying that ]

Feith: oh that - that was all the CIA's fault

Feith: we shouldn't have focused on WMD

Kroft: dood that's the whole reason we invaded!!

Feith: oh no we attacked for a whole other reason

Kroft: which was??

Feith: to help Osama bin Laden and get us bogged down in a civil war and ruin our reputation

Kroft: really?!?!?

Feith: no - just kidding

Kroft: but all that really happened!

Feith: and we saw it all coming

Kroft: jesus christ then why invade??

Feith: Bush was salivating at the idea of a parade

Kroft: the war has been a disaster

Feith: ok we didn't realize there would be an insurgency

Kroft: you were asleep in the 20th century were you?

Kroft: you didn't have enough troops

Feith: i don't know what is my own book sorry

Kroft: you are the stupidest fucking man on earth

Feith: heh i wish i had a dime for every time i heard that

Kroft: worst decision ever??

Feith: disband the Iraqi military

Kroft: you signed off on that

Feith: no i never did

Kroft: did rumsfeld?

Feith: i don't know we were too busy banning abortion in Iraq

Kroft: you're an idiot - what are you doing now?

Feith: teaching at Georgetown

Feith: if Bush had listened to me and put Chalabi in charge things would have been fine

Kroft: General Franks says you're the dumbest mother fucker on the planet

Feith: ah - but not Venus or Mars, right

Kroft: people seem to hate you

Feith: they are just pissed because i faked intelligence to trick america in to war

Kroft: oh so just whining

Kroft: was the Iraq war was the right thing to do?

Feith: given bush is an idiot then yes

Kroft: yes or no

Feith: yes the war was a terrific idea

[scrubs hands furiously]

Kroft: i don't think that blood will come out big guy

Feith: dammit dammit dammit

Hardball with Chris Matthews with Barack Obama

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Hardball with Chris Matthews
April 2, 2008
Guest: Sen. Barack Obama
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Matthews: Welcome to my Exclusive Interview with the Next President!!

Matthews: hello Obama - you suck at bowling

Obama: clearly i do you fat white looser

Matthews: you’re black so you’re good at basketball

Obama: i'm only half black so i only shoot from half court

Matthews: are you as tough as dick cheney?

Obama: heh that fat draft dodging loser? i aim higher than that

Matthews: but dick cheney is so presidential -- he hates human beings so much he shoots them

Obama: yeah ignoring the voters makes you tough

Matthews: but you’re skinny you look like you can’t fight

Obama: i'm from Chicago - fuck that shit

Matthews: do you hate america and will your surrender to brown people

Obama: i was right about the war and dick cheney drinks human blood

Matthews: but the war is lovely this time of year

Obama: fuck that shit and damm Hillary for voting for it

Matthews: but we are americans kicking foreign ass!!!!

Obama: you're a mission creep

Matthews: but the surge is working!!!!

Obama: hey dood the puppet regime we installed is linked to our great enemy Iran - face it bush is one dumb motherfucker

Matthews: but the brown terrorists!!

Obama: which i intend to kill

Matthews: is hillary McClinton?

Obama: no i just pointed out what McCain said which is that we will stay in Iraq for 100 years

Matthews: well why not?

Obama: we could spend that on college scholarships and on bottled water for all MSNBC employees

Matthews: i love it!

Matthews: we have lost a lot of jobs in Pennsylvania

Obama: who the fuck is 'we' Nantucket-boy?

Matthews: hah!

Obama: face it boys the jobs are gone and they ain't comin' back

Matthews: springsteeen bitches!

Obama: I was born in the usa!

Matthews: the crisis of 2009 is bill clinton's fault!!

Obama: well of course

Matthews: what’s solution to the economic slump?

Obama: green jobs fathead

Audience: college funding dood

Obama: I favor Pell grants and credit for national service like help the homeless or teh peas core

Matthews: heh i was in teh peas core

Obama: eliminate teh middle man like sally mae

Audience: I hate that bitch

Audience: Pastor Right dood

Obama: i used to pray for a new BMW and now I pray for Chris Matthews to develop a terrible mental disease

Matthews: hah too late!

Obama: let god be god and me be me

Question: Senator what's your stance on teacher merit pay

Obama: it's fucking stupid - teaching to teh test is moronic

Matthews: i love it!

Matthews: what if al qaeda tries to fly a plane in to teh capitol at 3:00!?!

Obama: so what - there's no one in the capitol at 3:00 am

Matthews: people like me would be

Obama: again so what?

Matthews: but the brown scary people!

Obama: JFK showed restraint and i want to cool and cautious and get laid a lot like him

Matthews: yur awesome

Obama: i will attack Pakistan to get Osama

Matthews: never heard of him

Matthews: how do you clean out the corrupt executive branch??

Obama: gee i don't maybe run for President

Matthews: but that's scary

Obama: I will create a culture of truth baby

Matthews: but the CIA kills people

Obama: so do i dood

Matthews: you're scary

Obama: i'm black and i'm from chicago i'm not afraid of the striped pants ivy league twits at teh CIA

Matthews: Barama what's it like to have a white mother who loves you?

Obama: it’s great american melting pot dood

Matthews: ooh Schoolhouse Rock!

Obama: i've got family members who are pasty and some who are black and they all agree Bush is a motherfucker

Matthews: you're like that kid in Soul Man - you're a white guy who learned what it's like to be black

Obama: C. Thomas Howell inspired me to go to Harvard Law School

Matthews: you wanted to defeat Russian invaders?

Obama: no i wanted to nail Rae Dawn Chong

Matthews: Clinton using dog whistles to call out the Rev Right dogs?

Obama: of course they are - meanwhile 4,000 people are dead - the planet is melting and america is the shitter

Matthews: so let's talk more about rev Right and why didn't you fuck him over?

Obama: because MSNBC is a tv network full of repressed white catholic racists

Matthews: but he's controversial!

Obama: didn't i see you sexually harass Erin Burnett?

Matthews: it was all in fun dood!

Matthews: you have will power like Bush - you stopped smoking!

Obama: yeah yeah yeah

Matthews: smokers stand up!

Obama: oh lord - why didn't i stick with a substantive show like "The View"??

Matthews: do you ever think “holy shit this is ridiculous”

Obama: only when i watch your show jackass

Question: gay marriage!?

Obama: sure - but not for another generation

Matthews: why not?

Obama: because of repressed twits like you dood

Matthews: inner city schools!

Obama: answer is pre-pre pre-K, like reading to kids in teh womb

Matthews: what books can a zygote read?

Obama: something juvenile like "Life's a Campaign"

Question: what else?

Obama: apprenticeship in the trades

Matthews: what is this - the middle ages?

Obama: hey it's that or drugs and jail

Matthews: what if you end the primaries have more delegates?

Obama: that's called being the winner stupid

Matthews: but the superdelegates could vote against you

Obama: well those people would be motherfuckers wouldn't they

Matthews: so supers should vote for you if you have more votes, delegates and states

Obama: if they deny me the nominaton my black fans and white supporters will rise and take this motherfuckin' country by force

Matthews: i love it! thanx for coming

Obama: no thank u crazy man

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