MEET THE PRESS - May 25, 2008

*******************************************
Meet The Press
Tim Russert and Assorted D.C. pundits
MoDo, Parson Meachem, Doris Footnote Goodwin, Xian Brody, Gwen Ifill
May 25, 2008
*******************************************

Russert: omg Hillary hopes Obama get killed!!

Goodwin: in her defense her analogy was completely wrong plus its clear her people have been hoping he blows up with another revelation like a crazy Reverend or a black child

Dowd: indeed they are hoping something terrible happens to him

Ifill: I fear it all the time so yeah it was disturbing

Meachem: you can't go wrong with good "meaning of is is" joke

Panel: HA HA HA HA

Meachem: she is hoping disaster befalls the nominee

Russert: you gotta have hope

Parson Jon: she is Reagan in '76

Timmy: Obama could be within 12 delegates in a week

Brody: he's got two opposition research teams attacking him at once

Russert: but he hasn't been vetted yet

Brody: right

Timmy: has she earned the right to be V.P.??

Marcus: yeah talking about Bobby's assassination is just the way to earn the invitation

Question: is Bill Clinton a pain in the ass?

Obama: that's not what i heard

Audience: ha ha ha

Obama: look i'm a pragmatist and Doris Goodwin plagiarized a good book called 'Team of Rivals' about Lincoln and even though he was named Abraham he took some non-jews in his cabinet so I might take some non-muslims

Goodwin: good idea you want the enemies pissing out as LBJ would say

Russert: Maureen is it all sexism??

Dowd: pure Poppy Cock

Russert: What does George Herbert Walker Bush have to do with this?

Dowd: she also resorts to sexism when she fails - she's like a prettier Al Sharpton

Russert: did she lose because of sexism?

Marcus: she was playful and tough and won't be the nominee because ran a bad campaign

Brody: now that she has lost to play the sexism card is whiny

Ifill: sexist!!!

Goodwin: resentment and victimhood looks bad for a woman who has accomplished so much

Russert: which is it - is she more electable than Obama or a victim of national rampant national sexism?

Meachem: god go with her

Tim: what the fuck parson Jon?

Meachem: i am not a racist or sexist i just happen to always vote for white men

Brody: this race ended in Iowa

Russert: wow

Brody: they blew it with the caucuses

Tim: that's not sexism its competence

Dowd: they helped write the rules and they still blew tens of millions of dollars

Ifill: the black voters were originally with her too

Tim: can a black man win the presnit

Meacham: in theory yes - in reality no

Tim: what the fuck does that mean parson

Jon: Obama scores on the race resentment index

Tim: what's that

Meachem: the Scary Black Man Score

Ifill: hell i'm queasy too

Parson Jon: this is why McCain is still doing well after all he is a real American

Ifill: we have to talk about race in America

Meachem: we have an Open Letter to Obama from Harold Ford about how to win over voters

Tim: didn't he lose?

Meachem: that's what makes him so perfect for Newsweek

Ifill: what about McCain

Meachem: he's a Saint

Goodwin: people don't even know his momma was white

Tim: they think he's a muslim!!!

Brody: Obama is having Family Faith outreach discussion it's about family

Tim: what is that code for?

Brody: christian law

Marcus: he's all about faith McCain is an atheist

Tim: which faith the muslim or the other one?

Marcus: both

Tim: but McCain is reaching out the family values crowd by seeking the endorsement of neo-Nazis

Dowd: yeah you can bash Catholics but not embrace Hitler

Brody: well he's in trouble now Hitler is very popular with the Republican base

Tim: will McCain pick Bobby Jindal

Ifill: give me a fucking break we have nothing to report on this summer what else would be do

Tim: spend time with our families?

Panel: Ha Ha Ha Ha

Meachem: speaking of Henry II....

Tim: shut up you pretentious twit

McCain: i was a POW!!

Goodwin: hey Lincoln and FDR were not soldiers either

McCain: will not use my opponents youth and inexperience against him

Obama: fuck that shit

Dowd: McCain has a problem he's a fucking jerk

Brody: he can't be commander in chief because of Rezco and Jeremiah Wright

Ifill: Response: McBush!!