Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Tina Fey's Remarks on Palin Edited on PBS

Tina Fey is the youngest recipient of the Mark Twain prize, but not all of her speech was seen on PBS. This is the part PBS edited out:

"You know, politics aside, the success of Sarah Palin and women like her is good for all women. Except, of course, those who will end up, you know, like, paying for their own rape kit, 'n stuff.

But for everybody else, it’s a win-win. Unless you’re a gay woman who wants to marry your partner of 20 years – whatever.

But for most women, the success of conservative women is good for all of us. Unless you believe in evolution. You know – actually, I take it back. The whole thing’s a disaster."

Monday, November 15, 2010

Who Killed Tycho Brahe?

PRAGUE (AP) -- An international team of scientists opened the tomb of famous 16th-century Danish astronomer Tycho Brahe Monday in an effort to shed light on his sudden and mysterious death. It had been long thought he died of a bladder infection.

But tests conducted in 1996 in Sweden and later in Denmark on samples of his mustache and hair - obtained during a previous 1901 exhumation - indicated unusually high levels of mercury, leading to a theory of mercury poisoning, even possible murder.

They also are interested in Brahe's skull. He had part of his nose cut off during a duel with a fellow nobleman as a student and it was replaced by a metal plate. The plate was not found in 1901, but the tests should be able to determine what it was made of.

James Blunt: I Prevented World War Three

So he says.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Meet the Press - November 14, 2010

David Axelrod - White House advisor
Sen. John McCain - (R-AZ)
Alan Greenspan
Harold Ford
Newt Gingrich
Bethany McLean
Gregory: Dave did Obama achieve anything touring Asia?

Axelrod: Obama is out there fighting for American jobs Fluffy and he rejected a bad trade deal because it wasn't fucking good enough!

Gregory: what about those Bush tax cuts for the rich?

Axelrod: We can afford to borrow money to keep the tax cuts for the middle class but we can’t afford to borrow to keep the cuts for the wealthy

Gregory: but the rich have suffered so much

Axelrod: John McCain opposed those cuts and he was right

Gregory: can I get a compromise right now?

Axelrod: are you negotiating on behalf of the Republicans David?

Gregory: it saves time

Axelrod: I see

Gregory: is Obama open to compromise please??

Axelrod: dear god stop whining Fluffers

Gregory: is the President going to move to the right?

Axelrod: the message from the American people is they want us to act together and give them jobs

Gregory: I still hear you still fighting for liberals - dammit will you just stop and be conservative already!!

Axelrod: ok how about tax cuts for businesses?

Gregory: the Chairmen of the debt commission proposed a lot of pain and spending cuts which I hope will be very popular

Axelrod: no one wants cuts or higher taxes so this should be a lot of fun

Gregory: Is Obama willing to finally stop all this free money going to the elderly and sick?

Axelrod: the right-wing demagogues this issue

Gregory: [ grinning ] but you won’t even make any concessions on my tv show!!!

Axelrod: I heard you were a moron

Gregory: so did I

Axelrod: this is a dark cloud over us and we must make these cuts

Gregory: excellent

Gregory: what about Rahm

Axelrod: he’s fucking crazy

Gregory: are we ever going to make progress in Afghanistan?

Axelrod: we need to train the Afghans to fight and love America which is tricky

[ break ]

Gregory: President McCain what would it take to satisfy you in Afghanistan?

McCain: it’s just a fact that we must never leave that far-away country or terrorists will here and cut our heads off

Gregory: but President Karzai doesn’t even want us there

McCain: he’s paranoid

Gregory: you’re calling him paranoid?

McCain: look the entire Afghan government is corrupt and Pakistan is harboring international terrorists

Gregory: these are arguments for staying there?

McCain: exactly

Gregory: what about gays in the military

McCain: Look we need a study that says gays are icky

Gregory: fascinating

McCain: we need a thorough and complete study to determine the if gay people cause cooties

Gregory: your wife called you a bigot - what did you say to her?

McCain: I only communicate with my wife through Twitter

Gregory: doesn’t military honor require not lying

McCain: the head of the marines has validated my bigotry!

Gregory: but what do you believe personally about gays?

McCain: look I met a soldier in Kandahar who has to sleep with all the men under him

Gregory: interesting

McCain: these are petty officers!

Gregory: Indeed they are

Gregory: we have more tape of you on Meet The Press than anyone else

McCain: oh noes

Gregory: you blatantly flip-flopped on tax cuts on the rich

McCain: look this is a very different time - we now know what an incredible hypocrite I am

Gregory: what about the debt commission?

McCain: the American people have sent the message that they hate spending and want to send all of their money to the richest one-percent

Gregory: President Bush is peeved at you for not campaigning with him

McCain: I had to do it - Obama was trying to tie me Bush

Gregory: yes he tried to link you in the public’s mind

McCain: no he found us backstage and tied us up!

Gregory: my god - well that’s it until your 60th appearance

McCain: Ooh I hope I get a toaster

[ break ]

Gregory: Alan where are the jobs?

Greenspan: there are no construction jobs because we already built what we need and businesses are very uncertain about the future which we need to be certain about

Gregory: Newt you’re a failure and widely hated - tell us about world economics

Gingrich: all of this is Obama’s fault because he hate business

Ford: Newt is right that I should have been the first black President

Gingrich: um what

Ford: we should have a moratorium on regulations and accept all the debt commission recommendations

Gregory: Beth how can American thrive until we inflict more pain on homeowners

McLean: if the government stops involvement in housing there will be another crash

Greenspan: hey old white men are doing great

Gingrich: this debt commission report debate is stupid because we won’t cut social security

Gregory: but don’t we have to have an adult conversation that we must slash funding for the poor and give money to the rich??

Greenspan: the Congress will pass these recommendations because they must or bond traders will have a sad

McLean: we are headed to a huge crisis

Gregory: I’m just a talk show host but we must raise the retirement age!! [ sobs ]

Ford: Newt Gingrich is a close friend and handsome man - why can’t he lead the Democrats to cut social security ??

Gingrich: this stupid chairmen’s plan is a step backwards because it’s a hurtful proposal from bunch of rich people who won’t be affected by their own recommendations

Gregory: gee that’s what I liked about it

Gregory: [ shows tape of people rioting in Europe ]
look at this horrible social unrest just because poor people see all the benefits going to the rich

Ford: I love the Tea Party because they realize that we must eliminate Social Security for young and poor people

Gregory: Newt does Obama have the guts to slash Medicare?

Gingrich: I fear government workers in Albany will riot

Gregory: over cuts in salaries?

Gingrich: Lack of parking

Gregory: should we cut the debt by extending tax cuts for the very rich?

Greenspan: yes - also the deficit is a real problem which is why we need to cut entitlements

McLean: those tax cuts sure didn’t provide jobs

Gregory: only 8 million were lost

McLean: We’re running out of time - the bond will take their balls and go home and then we will have no balls!

Gregory: what if the government gets out of the mortgage business?

Greenspan: home prices get lower and we will have to foreclose on 8 million people which will be necessary but exhausting

Gregory: Newtie will you run for President please

Gingrich: yes but first I must create a movement for insanity

Gregory: I’m torn between you and Sarah Palin

Gingrich: true - also there’s heavyweights Huckabee, Romney and Barbour

Gregory: Don’t forget my new best buddy - Bobby Jindal - squee!!!

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Holocaust Film 'Too Gruesome"?

Nov. 12 (Telegraph) -- A German-made film about the horrors of the Nazi death camp of Auschwitz is so horrific that many critics have already said they will boycott it when it is
released next year. Uwe Boll's film entitled Auschwitz is already on the internet, showing disturbing images of naked victims dying in gas chambers. Mr Boll, a filmmaker who has made it his life's work to shock, said he wanted to present to the world "a movie about the Holocaust that tells it like it really was".

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I Can See Chris Christie From My House!

Surrounded by his family and Pennsylvania's Republican elite, Gov.-elect Tom Corbett looked into the election-night crowd in Pittsburgh and said, "Throughout the campaign, people asked me, 'What kind of role model do you have?' I reminded them: Just look across the Delaware River to New Jersey. Take a look at Gov. Christie."