Saturday, May 31, 2008

Democratic Party Rules Committee Meeting - May 31, 2008

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DNC Rules Meeting
Subject: Florida and Michigan
Washington, DC
May 31, 2008
************************************

Alice Huff: i know this is against the rules but rules were made to be broken - and I know this could cause problems in 2012 but by then i could be dead

Other person: Rules are rules and rules must be followed or they're not rules

Other other person: this won't pass and that saddens me because we a party of inclusion

[ yay!! ]

Germond: When we wrote the rules we made sure they had meat and beef and force - dammit these were beauty contests and that tough because Hillary is attractive but Obama is handsome too

Germond: we believe in rules and to ignore the rules to be like George W. Bush!

[ ooooooh ]

Ickes: i wrote these fuckin' rules and even i don't what the fuck is going on - except that damm young black man is p0wng me

Pasquil: Rules are rules except when they are not rules

Herman: vote carries by 2/3 !!!

psych! just the vote to close debate

[ ooooooh ]

Herman: all in favor

[ YAYYYYYY!!! ]

Herman: where was all this enthusiasm in 2000 goddamit?

Herman: all opposed say Boooooo

[ BOOOOOOO ]

Herman: quiet please!

[ JENNIFER !!! JENNIFER!!!! ]

Herman: what the fuck are those weirdos saying?

Wolf: they are saying “Denver” -- apparently there are many Bronco fans here

Black Guy: in light of Obama's awesomeness i move that each pledged delegate can only cast 3/5 of a vote and in addition each delegate shall be made to wear a dashiki or a pink pantsuit at all times on the floor of the convention

Huff: you sneaky motherfucker!!!

Huff: what this party needs is unity

[ FUCK THAT SHIT! ]

Huff: you are about to the best of this party in action

[ cue porno music ]

Huff: hey protestors shut the goddam fuck up and act like grownups instead of little kids

[ WHAAAAAAAA ]

Ickes: i'll take half a loaf

Herman: gee i wonder if this was planned in advance

Ickes: hey i wore my 'regular guy' shirt

Herman: all in favor of Unity 08 Compromise clap your hands and say yeah

[ YEAH !! ]

Herman: seems unanimous to me

Michigan delegate: i move Michigan gets divided - hillary gets the palm and Obama gets the fingers and thumb

Fowler: my first choice was hillary clinton and i know harold ickes and i love him and that night was very special but i must move back in with my wife

Ickes: this is not my day dammitt

Ickes: we find this body's support for hillary clinton's former position inexplicable

Herman: uh huh

Ickes: this will hijack delegates just like a terrorist and this body is just a bunch of fascists and stealing votes from 600,000 - that's not democracy

Herman: no democracy is an election where only one person is on the ballot

Ickes: you bet your sweet ass

[yay]

Ickes: yeah you bet your ass the election was fucking flawed

Dawson: watch your language motherfucker

Ickes: you want a piece of me shitface?

Dawson: right now dickwad

Ickes: Hijacker!!

Fowler: i love that man



Ickes: fuck your fucking unity and shove it up your goddamm fucking ass

[ YAYYYYYY!!!!!! ]

Ickys: oh by they way if Hillary doesn't win she won't abide by your decision

Member: holy crap that guy really is a dick isn't he

Protestor: what about Iowa???

Counter-Protestor: shut up!!

Protestor: you shut up!!

[tv audience: ]

[yep this sounds like the Democratic party i know and love ]

Black Guy: Fuck harold ickes and his shitty selective amnesia and i hope he takes his lying ass back to political oblivion

Smith: i had my hand up!

Chair: didn't you see you white lady

Smith: fuck you fat man

Smith: i've been a democrat all my life by i just discovered that we have to support all the delegates in Michigan it makes me very very sad

Chair: thank you for your concern

Chair: motion carries

[ DENVER!! DENVER!!! ]

Chair: please please please

[ BOOOOO ARRRR GRRRR YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!! ]

Chair: watch me looney

[ OBAMA! ALGER HISS! THE ROSENBERGS!! FREE MUMIA!! AREA 51!!! ]

Chair: and now on to new business - all in favor of cold cuts and fruit salad at the next meeting vote yeah

3 comments:

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said...

Brilliant!
~

Allesandra1 said...

I got this notion in my head to write to Hillary and suggest that we might make it a lot farther down the road to party unity if she would just tell those apoplectic supporters of hers that the primary election (Harold Ickes' rampage to the contrary) was not in fact unfair, rigged, stolen, illegal, unconstitutional. So I was Goggling Ickes' actual comments and landed here. HA! Yeah. Probably wouldn't do much good. Hey, where are all your fans?

Allesandra1 said...

Googling.