*************************************
DNC Rules Meeting
Subject: Florida and Michigan
Washington, DC
May 31, 2008
************************************
Alice Huff: i know this is against the rules but rules were made to be broken - and I know this could cause problems in 2012 but by then i could be dead
Other person: Rules are rules and rules must be followed or they're not rules
Other other person: this won't pass and that saddens me because we a party of inclusion
[ yay!! ]
Germond: When we wrote the rules we made sure they had meat and beef and force - dammit these were beauty contests and that tough because Hillary is attractive but Obama is handsome too
Germond: we believe in rules and to ignore the rules to be like George W. Bush!
[ ooooooh ]
Ickes: i wrote these fuckin' rules and even i don't what the fuck is going on - except that damm young black man is p0wng me
Pasquil: Rules are rules except when they are not rules
Herman: vote carries by 2/3 !!!
psych! just the vote to close debate
[ ooooooh ]
Herman: all in favor
[ YAYYYYYY!!! ]
Herman: where was all this enthusiasm in 2000 goddamit?
Herman: all opposed say Boooooo
[ BOOOOOOO ]
Herman: quiet please!
[ JENNIFER !!! JENNIFER!!!! ]
Herman: what the fuck are those weirdos saying?
Wolf: they are saying “Denver” -- apparently there are many Bronco fans here
Black Guy: in light of Obama's awesomeness i move that each pledged delegate can only cast 3/5 of a vote and in addition each delegate shall be made to wear a dashiki or a pink pantsuit at all times on the floor of the convention
Huff: you sneaky motherfucker!!!
Huff: what this party needs is unity
[ FUCK THAT SHIT! ]
Huff: you are about to the best of this party in action
[ cue porno music ]
Huff: hey protestors shut the goddam fuck up and act like grownups instead of little kids
[ WHAAAAAAAA ]
Ickes: i'll take half a loaf
Herman: gee i wonder if this was planned in advance
Ickes: hey i wore my 'regular guy' shirt
Herman: all in favor of Unity 08 Compromise clap your hands and say yeah
[ YEAH !! ]
Herman: seems unanimous to me
Michigan delegate: i move Michigan gets divided - hillary gets the palm and Obama gets the fingers and thumb
Fowler: my first choice was hillary clinton and i know harold ickes and i love him and that night was very special but i must move back in with my wife
Ickes: this is not my day dammitt
Ickes: we find this body's support for hillary clinton's former position inexplicable
Herman: uh huh
Ickes: this will hijack delegates just like a terrorist and this body is just a bunch of fascists and stealing votes from 600,000 - that's not democracy
Herman: no democracy is an election where only one person is on the ballot
Ickes: you bet your sweet ass
[yay]
Ickes: yeah you bet your ass the election was fucking flawed
Dawson: watch your language motherfucker
Ickes: you want a piece of me shitface?
Dawson: right now dickwad
Ickes: Hijacker!!
Fowler: i love that man
Ickes: fuck your fucking unity and shove it up your goddamm fucking ass
[ YAYYYYYY!!!!!! ]
Ickys: oh by they way if Hillary doesn't win she won't abide by your decision
Member: holy crap that guy really is a dick isn't he
Protestor: what about Iowa???
Counter-Protestor: shut up!!
Protestor: you shut up!!
[tv audience: ]
[yep this sounds like the Democratic party i know and love ]
Black Guy: Fuck harold ickes and his shitty selective amnesia and i hope he takes his lying ass back to political oblivion
Smith: i had my hand up!
Chair: didn't you see you white lady
Smith: fuck you fat man
Smith: i've been a democrat all my life by i just discovered that we have to support all the delegates in Michigan it makes me very very sad
Chair: thank you for your concern
Chair: motion carries
[ DENVER!! DENVER!!! ]
Chair: please please please
[ BOOOOO ARRRR GRRRR YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!! ]
Chair: watch me looney
[ OBAMA! ALGER HISS! THE ROSENBERGS!! FREE MUMIA!! AREA 51!!! ]
Chair: and now on to new business - all in favor of cold cuts and fruit salad at the next meeting vote yeah
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
Brilliant!
~
I got this notion in my head to write to Hillary and suggest that we might make it a lot farther down the road to party unity if she would just tell those apoplectic supporters of hers that the primary election (Harold Ickes' rampage to the contrary) was not in fact unfair, rigged, stolen, illegal, unconstitutional. So I was Goggling Ickes' actual comments and landed here. HA! Yeah. Probably wouldn't do much good. Hey, where are all your fans?
Googling.
Post a Comment