DNC Rules Meeting
Subject: Florida and Michigan
May 31, 2008
Alice Huff: i know this is against the rules but rules were made to be broken - and I know this could cause problems in 2012 but by then i could be dead
Other person: Rules are rules and rules must be followed or they're not rules
Other other person: this won't pass and that saddens me because we a party of inclusion
[ yay!! ]
Germond: When we wrote the rules we made sure they had meat and beef and force - dammit these were beauty contests and that tough because Hillary is attractive but Obama is handsome too
Germond: we believe in rules and to ignore the rules to be like George W. Bush!
[ ooooooh ]
Ickes: i wrote these fuckin' rules and even i don't what the fuck is going on - except that damm young black man is p0wng me
Pasquil: Rules are rules except when they are not rules
Herman: vote carries by 2/3 !!!
psych! just the vote to close debate
[ ooooooh ]
Herman: all in favor
[ YAYYYYYY!!! ]
Herman: where was all this enthusiasm in 2000 goddamit?
Herman: all opposed say Boooooo
[ BOOOOOOO ]
Herman: quiet please!
[ JENNIFER !!! JENNIFER!!!! ]
Herman: what the fuck are those weirdos saying?
Wolf: they are saying “Denver” -- apparently there are many Bronco fans here
Black Guy: in light of Obama's awesomeness i move that each pledged delegate can only cast 3/5 of a vote and in addition each delegate shall be made to wear a dashiki or a pink pantsuit at all times on the floor of the convention
Huff: you sneaky motherfucker!!!
Huff: what this party needs is unity
[ FUCK THAT SHIT! ]
Huff: you are about to the best of this party in action
[ cue porno music ]
Huff: hey protestors shut the goddam fuck up and act like grownups instead of little kids
[ WHAAAAAAAA ]
Ickes: i'll take half a loaf
Herman: gee i wonder if this was planned in advance
Ickes: hey i wore my 'regular guy' shirt
Herman: all in favor of Unity 08 Compromise clap your hands and say yeah
[ YEAH !! ]
Herman: seems unanimous to me
Michigan delegate: i move Michigan gets divided - hillary gets the palm and Obama gets the fingers and thumb
Fowler: my first choice was hillary clinton and i know harold ickes and i love him and that night was very special but i must move back in with my wife
Ickes: this is not my day dammitt
Ickes: we find this body's support for hillary clinton's former position inexplicable
Herman: uh huh
Ickes: this will hijack delegates just like a terrorist and this body is just a bunch of fascists and stealing votes from 600,000 - that's not democracy
Herman: no democracy is an election where only one person is on the ballot
Ickes: you bet your sweet ass
Ickes: yeah you bet your ass the election was fucking flawed
Dawson: watch your language motherfucker
Ickes: you want a piece of me shitface?
Dawson: right now dickwad
Fowler: i love that man
Ickes: fuck your fucking unity and shove it up your goddamm fucking ass
[ YAYYYYYY!!!!!! ]
Ickys: oh by they way if Hillary doesn't win she won't abide by your decision
Member: holy crap that guy really is a dick isn't he
Protestor: what about Iowa???
Counter-Protestor: shut up!!
Protestor: you shut up!!
[tv audience: ]
[yep this sounds like the Democratic party i know and love ]
Black Guy: Fuck harold ickes and his shitty selective amnesia and i hope he takes his lying ass back to political oblivion
Smith: i had my hand up!
Chair: didn't you see you white lady
Smith: fuck you fat man
Smith: i've been a democrat all my life by i just discovered that we have to support all the delegates in Michigan it makes me very very sad
Chair: thank you for your concern
Chair: motion carries
[ DENVER!! DENVER!!! ]
Chair: please please please
[ BOOOOO ARRRR GRRRR YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO US!! ]
Chair: watch me looney
[ OBAMA! ALGER HISS! THE ROSENBERGS!! FREE MUMIA!! AREA 51!!! ]
Chair: and now on to new business - all in favor of cold cuts and fruit salad at the next meeting vote yeah