Sunday, April 17, 2011

Meet The Press - April 17, 2011

Tim Geithner (Sec. of Treasury)
Sen. Mike Lee (R-UT)
Alan Greenspan
Jennifer Granholm
Tavis Smiley
Jon Meacham
Gregory: Will Obama finally agree to do the Tea Party wants?

Geithner: why should he

Gregory: the Republicans demand it

Geithner: so I’ve heard

Gregory: you must link debt ceiling and cut spending

Geithner: so you say

Gregory: your warnings about the debt ceiling are overblown

Geithner: you can’t play chicken with the credibility of the U.S. of A. bucko

Gregory: will you the shut down the government?

Geithner: Look Obama offered trillions in cuts - what more do the Republicans want?

Gregory: Obama once voted against raising the debt ceiling

Geithner: true but the whole world is watching to see how crazy we really are

Gregory: Let me tell you Americans are thinking about

Geithner: [ eyeroll ]

Gregory: the gas is too damm high!

Geithner: well you know war in the Middle East, Africa, earthquakes and meltdown in Japan are not helpful

Gregory: Mitt Romney says Obama caused a recession in 2008

Geithner: heh

Gregory: how do answer the charge that you totally suck

Geithner: we’ve created more jobs in one year than Bush did in 8 years

Gregory: I still don’t like you

Geithner: Don’t bet against America Fluffy - it survived Revolution, Civil War, Depressions and can survive my tenure as Secretary of Treasury

Gregory: probably

Geithner: we need to cut spending now so the next Republican President can raise spending

Gregory: will unemployment ever go down?

Geithner: who can say?

Gregory: Obama is insisting on raising taxes on the rich

Geithner: well either that or cut spending the disabled, gut defense, or borrow more money from the Chinese

Gregory: don’t you have to raise taxes on the middle class?

Geithner: do we?

Gregory: yes because Boehner says no way am I raising taxes on the rich

Geithner: we could afford everything if we eliminated loopholes for the wealthy

Gregory: Obama poisoned the well!

Geithner: it’s a starting point

Gregory: Obama gave poor Paul Ryan the black of his hand

Geithner: suck it up Whyan

Gregory: Won’t raising taxes hurt the economy?

Geithner: not if we truly believe in the greatness of America

Gregory: Debbie Wasserman Schultz says the Ryan plan is a deathtrap

Geithner: Debbie only said that because she’s from Florida and most of her constituents are near the end

Gregory: [ high pitched voice ] Obama is not serious!

Geithner: Calm down Fluffy

Gregory: GE paid no taxes - how do I get in on that action

Geithner: you need to lose a huge amount of money

Gregory: I think NBC is good at that

Gregory: so will you address tax inequity

Geithner: yes and even Republicans find this pretty fucking outrageous

Gregory: are you staying in your job

Geithner: no comment Fluffers

Gregory: hee hee

[ break ]

Gregory: Senator will the Tea Party raise the debt ceiling or will you destroy the USA

Lee: we will only vote for it if we also amend the Constitution to require a President to wear his birth certificate at all times around his neck on a sandwich board

Greenspan: I don’t understand what is going on

Gregory: Did Betsy get your pudding?

Greenspan: Debt is bad

Gregory: Obama Unplugged has total contempt for the GOP Congress

Granholm: the GOP has the Ryan plan and Obama has a plan and now we can have a debate and that’s how politics work

Gregory: but that’s all fantasy

Smiley: Budgets are moral documents! The poor got locked out!

Gregory: We are all ruled by the Tea Party because they Dominate The Conversation

Meacham: they are adorable lunatics

Mondale: Obama should promise to raise taxes and he will get reelected because it worked so well for me

Lee: you can’t raise taxes

Gregory: you go Mike

Lee: look the American people know what they want - more spending and lower taxes

Greenspan: Ayn Rand once told me that you can’t get out of a recession by raising taxes - then again she once served me a pie made from poor people

Gregory: Fascinating

Greenspan: We have to let the tax cuts for the rich expire

Lee: [ swoon, thud ]

Gregory: down goes Lee

Meacham: If Democrats raises taxes they will be flacked

Gregory: Jon you are so erudite

Smiley: forget the optics - what about standing up for the right thing dammit!!

Granholm: that’s what Obama did Tavis

Smiley: oh man those are just words!

Granholm: you’re a talk show host!

Tavis: and a writer!

Gregory: unemployment is still high but the stock market is going great

Greenspan: Americans have bet their retirement on shares on American corporations

Gregory: good plan

Greenspan: all those layoffs were great for corporate America

Gregory: excellent

Greenspan: but now lack of employees may hurt companies

Gregory: uh oh

Gregory: A bankrupt reality game show show host is leading the GOP polls

Meacham: Donald Trump's success proves the frustration with both parties

Audience: [ palmface ]

Smiley: Trump is a con artist and he’s playing the idiots in the D.C. media

Lee: Romney doesn’t feel pity remorse or fear - he has no feelings and he can’t be stopped

Gregory: I will now continue my absurd obsession with the idea of Jon Huntsman running for President

Lee: thanks Fluffy

Granholm: Donald Trump appears to passionately believe in something - unlike Weather Vain

Gregory: Deval Patrick says we need optimism and do great things

Lee: the Tea Party is optimistic - that we can finally declare the U.S. government an utter failure

Gregory: Alan you’re very very old - give us your insight

Greenspan: America has a good ride for 118 years but it’s over

Gregory: just like you

Gregory: Mike be honest - will you raise the debt ceiling or not?

Lee: you can’t read my poker face my po-po-poker face

Gregory: I got an e-mail from a guy complaining about Those Clowns in Congress

Greenspan: how do they stay so topical

Smiley: War is the enemy of the poor!

Meacham: Can Obama catapult the propaganda?

Gregory: Good question Jon - hey audience for more of this go to the internets where I talk to Tavis Smiley about his book and Jon Meacham about Shelby Foote’s book

Meacham: [ sobs ]

Gregory: [ hands Jon tissue ]
and that’s Meet The Press

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