[White House Phone rings ]
"Hello! You have reached the White House. If you have an emergency and would like to speak to the President, press 5 now."
[presses 5 ]
"Si usted quisiera hablar al Presidente, ahora presione 5."
[presses 5 again ]
"Thank you."
"For nuclear war, press one."
"For a killer asteroid, press two."
"For deadly plague, press three."
"For zombie surf nazis, press four."
"For all other problems, please remain on the line and an operator will be with you shortly."
[Girl from Ipanema plays softly]
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