Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Chris Matthews Show - June 29, 2008

Tweety: omg Hillary endorsed obama!!

Kay: she took her lumps and did what she needed to do to position herself for 2012

Tweety: what about teh scary women?? why won't they vote for john McCain??

Gregory: dood he's a man too

Tweety: yeah but he's sexier than Obama

Tweety: a pole came out that said Obama is only leading by 15 points -- he's gonna lose!!

Borger: he's fucked -- 80% of the country say we're on the wrong track

Tweety: those scary angry women!

Brooks: yes they are irrational but those little pretty haids will come to their senses

Tweety: Obama’s so cool

Tweety: he won so he has to supplicate himself to teh Hillary people

Gregory: like Bill

Tweety: ha!

Borger: they ran an inept campaign so Obama has to ask them for all their great ideas

Tweety: how many white women can he seize?

Kay: the supreme court!

Tweety: the war!

Tweety: Bill Clinton wants to remain the first black president

Gregory: he wants cash

Borger: is Bill Mandela or dirty laundry?

Kay: i hope you get psychiatric help someday chris matthews

Tweety: who are the hardest - women or blue collar dudes or oldsters??

Kay: Reagan dems

Brooks: independents

Matthews: ha! Obama and McCain are not baby boomers!

Tweety: omg Obama will choose a qualified veep in case he's killed!

Tweety: dan quayle told us george bush was an idiot

Borger: hey they did win

Tweety: so who does he choose

Borger: bentsen made dukakis look small

Gregory: he needs a good smart guy

Brooks: he needs to make a marriage with a handsome man like joe Biden

Matthews: Biden can carry catholics and pedantic dicks

Gregory: evan bayh has electric charisma and youthful vigor

Kay: are you all fucking kidding??

Tweety: Biden will carry the working class

Kay: Joe Biden??? what the fuck??

Tweety: doesn't he need a war monger??

Borger: he needs someone smart in foriegn affairs unlike Obama

Kay: he and john edwards get along

Tweety: but he's a lightweight

Brooks: it's all about governing he should choose Sam Nunn

Kay: have you ever once left the Beltway?

Brooks: i did once it was a horrible experience i was served a steak that was not medium-medium rare

Matthews: oh god no one suffers like we do

Tweety: sum up the week!

Kay: Bush was right about Zimbabwe it is a shitty place

Gregory: Hillary will not be on the ticket - he needs a war-talking guy

Borger: young voters this time will beat the shit out of older people

Brooks: Pelosi voted for FISA out of a favor to Obama

Tweety: do voters want change or national security - dems or GOP?

Kay: change

Borger: change

Gerogry: change

Brooks: change and to stay the same

Tweety: pick brooksie!

Brooks: why not change to create security?

Tweety: omg you just blew my mind

Monday, June 09, 2008

MCCAIN TO APPOINT MAGIC 8 BALL AS ATTORNEY GENERAL

MCCAIN TO APPOINT MAGIC 8 BALL AS ATTORNEY GENERAL

"Would be first black AG, experts say"

MSNBC
From NBC/NJ's Carrie Dann
MIAMI, FL – The question of whether or not President Bush overstepped his constitutional power by authorizing warrantless checks of Americans' international communications after 9/11 is "ambiguous," McCain said yesterday. But, he added, he hopes not to dwell on the issue.

"It's ambiguous as to whether the president acted within his authority or not," McCain told reporters at a press conference in the Florida Everglades yesterday.

The question of presidential authority has been a hot topic in past weeks, as key surveillance legislation has been gummed up in Congress. A sticking point has been the question of whether telecommunications companies can be prosecuted retroactively for participating in the post-9/11 surveillance. McCain, who believes that they should not face such penalties, called for the quick passage of that legislation, saying of the wiretapping debate that "the whole issue can be resolved by passing the FISA bill."

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

OBAMA CONVERTS TO JUDAISM

June 4, 2008
Washington, D.C.
Associated Press

OBAMA CONVERTS TO JUDAISM

Sen. Barack Obama, the presumed Democratic nominee for President, surprised many in the audience during his address to the American Israel Public Affairs Committee(AIPAC) Policy Conference by announcing his immediate conversion to Judaism. At the end of his speech, in which he discussed the Iraq war, Iran, a future Palestinian state, and U.S.-Israeli relations, Obama told the listeners he was now a Jew. “Fulfilling a lifelong spiritual quest, which has brought me from the faith of my father and stepfather, to the Christianity of my grandparents and my wife, I have finally a home in the Hebrew faith,” Obama told the gathering of largely Jewish activists. “I look forward to sharing my faith with my Jewish brothers and sisters, and someday visiting the homeland of my people, Israel,” said Obama, to applause.

AIPAC member Alan Weisman, a Washington lawyer, was pleased. “I think it’s great. He will be the fist Jewish President, unless you count Abraham Lincoln,” he said. Others were more skeptical. Hannah Kotlowitz said, “I’m sorry, but no. The blood of Moses doesn’t flow through his veins.”

Obama said he will begin studying Hebrew this summer, in anticipation of a bar mitzvah after he becomes President. “I would like to introduce my new spiritual advisor, Rabbi Harold Meyerson, who I am assured has never said anything controversial in his whole life,” Obama told the gathering.

In a brief interview, Obama said he has always felt close the Jewish people. “My grandfather helped liberate Buchenwald, plus I’ve seen all of Woody Allen’s movies, as well as ‘Fiddler on the Roof’, ‘Yentl’, ‘An American Tale’, and ‘A Stranger Among Us’,” he said.

Experts said the move will help Obama politically. Rep. Steve Rothman, the only member of the New Jersey Congressional delegation to endorse Obama, said “I’m thrilled. This will really help voters in my district get a sense of who Obama really is - one of them.”

Pat Buchanan called the conversion “shrewd.” “It’s brilliant - although some will see it at expediency, it’s a clever tactical move that can only help him,” said Buchanan. Buchanan said that in fact, at one time he and William Safire had thought of approaching President Richard Nixon about converting to Judaism to help win the 1972 election, but “just as we were walking into the Oval Office to discuss it, he was telling Billy Graham about those ‘goddamm jews trying to bring me down,’ so we dropped the idea.” Tim Russert of NBC said the move makes sense. “This will help Obama with a key Democratic constituency he has problems with, Jewish voters. Plus, you know Sammy Davis Jr. was Jewish.”

Monday, June 02, 2008

WE ALREADY HAVE SANCTIONS AGAINST IRAN

The world should launch a divestment campaign against Iran to curb its nuclear ambitions and reduce potential threats to Israel's security, Republican U.S. presidential candidate John McCain said on Monday.

"We should privatize the sanctions against Iran by launching a worldwide divestment campaign," McCain told a meeting of the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC), comparing such a move to similar efforts that helped bring an end to apartheid in South Africa.

"As more people, businesses, pension funds and financial institutions across the world divest from companies doing business with Iran, the radical elite who run that country will become even more unpopular than they are already," he said.


McCain, it's called OFAC: here is their website.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

The Chris Matthews Show - June 1, 2008

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The Chris Matthews Show

June 1, 2008
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Chris: how does Obama win the idiot vote?

Cynthia: he has to tie McCain to Bush and helpfully the base keeps pushing McCain to swear fealty to nazis and assorted loonies

Fineman: independent morons are the real deciders but john kerry had a really big head and that put people off

Chris: Obama is losing independents!

Kelly: he's a military guy which means he will salute bush and then call him a shithead behind his back

Chris: who is more independent?

Kelly: McCain because he believes in global warming

Chris: so does Obama

Kelly: but to be independent you have to buck your party so Obama must condemn reality

Chris: Obama is not necessarily a regular person - let's face it that's one hell of a tan

Cynthia: Obama is now an elitist with a father from kenya

Chris: when is Obama going to visit Iraq and see what's really going on

Kelly: McCain hates Obama

Fineman: yes it's shocking Obama welched and McCain is a thin-skinned nutjob

Chris: who is a good person Obama or McCain?

Cynthia: normal people don't vote that way

Matthews: i do

Cynthia: as i was saying

Chris: ha!

Cynthia: who is the real american here - Admiral McCain or Obama the dirty muslim who hates the flag

Fineman: McCain is stuck in the briar patch

Chris: oh noes the tar baby

Stengel: no one knows McCain

Chris: i had a five year love affair with john McCain i know him pretty well

Chris: OMG McClellan was hapless!!

Kelly: ha but really he hated telling all those lies

Chris: what a sweetheart he is

Kelly: i just want to take him home and cuddle him and tell him it will be all right

Chris: me too

Matthews: Scottie says Bush lied!!

Kelly: McCain is planning on smiling manically for the rest of the campaign

Matthews:: they trash Scottie but they admit they lied and committed treason

Fineman: yes they floated the idea that Scottie is a dirty hippie who works for Atrios

Stengel: yes Atrios was right all along but he has an agenda - he is in league with the Truth Lobby

Cynthia Tucker: that's old news

Chris: McClellan says if Bush had known he would have killed so many people he would not have killed so many people

Kelly: Bush is wonderful

Stengel: like Reagan wow he is great

Chris: wrap up!

Kelly: McCain Unleashed!!!

Stengel: Obama must pay fealty to Israel so say the people in Israel

Tucker: georgia is in play for Obama

Chris: he must go to Tblisi!!

Fineman: Teddy Kennedy will unite the Clintons and Obama and heal this nation and usher in a new progressive age

Chris: i had a crush on Joe The Forgotten Kennedy

Fineman: he was handsome yes

Chris: will Clinton like Joan of Arc lead her army to help Obama

Stegnel: yes to help Brand Hillary

Tucker: only reluctantly

Fineman: the key is Bill they are his people after all

Chris: make him DNC chair

Fineman: yeah that's a good idea