Friday, November 30, 2007

Mike Huckabee Attacks Hillary Clinton

"Now, whether we need to send somebody to Mars, I don't know. But I'll tell you what: If we do, I've got a few suggestions, and maybe Hillary could be on the first rocket to Mars."


-- Mike Huckabee, November 28 2007, Republican Debate on CNN.

Such a funny guy, that Mike Huckabee.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

White House Sold to Abu Dhabi For $2.5 Billion

Nov. 27 (Bloomberg) The United States of America will sell the White House, and receive a $2.5 billion cash infusion from Abu Dhabi to replenish capital after record spending coupled with excessive tax cuts, officials announced today.

"Clearly, the U.S. has a problem with capital adequacy." said Giyas Gokkent, head of research at National Bank of Abu Dhabi PJSC, Abu Dhabi's biggest bank by market value. "Abu Dhabi has seen an opportunity to get purchase one of the most famous properties and addresses in the World."

The White House, located in Washington, D.C., and home to many U.S. Presidents, has seen such historic residents as Abraham Lincoln, Franklin Roosevelt, and Richard Nixon. George Bush was preparing to move across the street to the Blair House, but sources indicate that an agreement has been reached which will allow the U.S. President to remain in residence while leasing it from Abu Dhabi.

Abu Dhabi will convert the East Wing into a showcase for Abu Dhabi business and tourism, as well as Muslim and Arabic history.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Why Does Joe Klein Hate the Truth?

Many people have to tried to figure out why Joe Klein lies so much, and so brazenly.

He thinks liberals hate America. That's true.

It's a generational, anti-Woodstock thing. True.

He loves conservatives, because he thinks of them as "grown up." True.

As a journalist he thinks it's his job to present both sides of the truth.

But it is a mystery as to why even the worst journalists, the most hyperpartisan, the most devoted slavist stenographer of right wing conservatives, like Joe Klein, would not even be a bit interested in the truth.

Does it mean nothing to him?

Why not try printing only the truth, no spin?

Just for a month -- see how it works out for you.

It's about estasblishing a Culture of Truth.

Either you do or you don't.

Joe Klein does not.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

TWO-HEADED CAT DOING JUST FINE

Vets believe the cat, which has two mouths, two noses and four eyes, may have two brains, as one face can go to sleep while the other remains awake and it can blink independently on each one.

"When he purrs it is like he is purring in stereo," the cat's owner said.

Full Story

GOOD FENCES

Man 'attempted sex with fence'
in London park

A drunken man broke into a central London park and attempted to have sex with a fence, a court heard.

Daniel French, 24, made "sexual motions" towards metal railings in Leicester Square Gardens after being challenged by police in the early hours of Sunday morning, Westminster Magistrates' Court was told.

"He said words to the effect of: 'I'm going to have sex with that fence'," said Philip Lemoine, prosecuting.

AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE HAVING A BAD DAY


Kenyan herdsman who fought off a lion attack dies
after being attacked by a pack of hyenas.


Moses Lekalau, 35, was walking home in the Maralal safari area north-east of Nairobi when the lion leapt out at him. Exhausted by his struggle, he lacked the strength to fight off a subsequent attack by hyenas.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Cat Blogging Returns


iz dat a bird?


i can haz baff? iz not kleen



doan wan showr iz kleen mysef

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Joe Klein = Hysterical

Joe Klein, one of a group of bloggers over at "Swampland," gets hysterical here.

He calls a recent statement by John Edwards "demagogic nonsense," and "dreadful."

What did Edwards say?

Apparently, this:

“When I’m president I’m going to say to members of Congress and members of my administration, including my cabinet: I’m glad that you have health care coverage and your family has health care coverage. But if you don’t pass universal health care by July of 2009 – in six months – I’m going to use my power as president to take your health care away from you. There’s no excuse for politicians in Washington having health care when you don’t have health care."


Garance Franke-Ruta of The American Prospect also flips out, writing:

"Edwards' above promise is very likely unconstitutional, and someone running against him ought to have the nerve to say so. It's ridiculous for a lawyer running for president to turn a promise to violate the law into a platform plank. I nominate former constitutional law professor Barack Obama, especially as the Hillary Clinton campaign hasn't been willing to elevate any of her competitors by going negative on them.

People in Iowa may like Edwards' rhetoric on this -- and they do, which is why his campaign has made this ad -- but Democratic voters there are also smart enough to understand that this is a promise to strengthen executive power at the expense of the Congress..."


Can put away the fainting couches and calm down for a second?

As far as I can tell, John Edwards promised in a campaign ad to "use [his] power as president" to try an effect a change in policy. Last time I checked, that was somewhere in the general job description. If someone can show how that is unconstitutional, or demagogic, I sure would like to see it.

To be fair, Franke-Rute is also very worried that Edwards is in effect proposing to give:
"George Bush and Dick Cheney and every future Republican president the power to push bills on Congress..."

Oh my god! The power to push bills on Congress!

Why, that could lead to the President having a role in the legislative process! Or influencing Congress!

You can see what the next Democratic President is in for now.

If he, or she, so much as dares to propose a bill to Congress, Joe Klein will go on tv wearing a tricorn hat, carrying a fife and drum, with a bloody bandage around his head, and start sobbing about the Constitution until his beard is soaking wet.

LAMEST TAKE-DOWN OF THE WEEK

Rep. Jim McGovern, who has endorsed Hillary Clinton, attempts a critique of Barack Obama over the Huffington Post. See here: McGovern at HuffPo

This piece, which is exclusively about Obama's appearance on Meet the Press, includes lots of quotes from Tim Russert.... and zero quotes from Barack Obama.

To be sure, he quotes Russert selectively quoting Obama, from over three years ago, and then proceeds to paraphrases Obama from Sunday, but never quotes what Obama actually said.

He also implies Obama has not always been against the war (which is a reason, apparently, to support Clinton) and then suggest Obama lack maturity.

As take-downs go, this is truly lame.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

TORTURE: I CAN NOT BUT HATE

This declared indifference, but as I must think, covert real zeal for the spread of torture, I can not but hate.

I hate it because of the monstrous injustice of torture itself.

I hate it because it deprives our republican example of its just influence in the world — enables the enemies of free institutions, with plausibility, to taunt us as hypocrites — causes the real friends of freedom to doubt our sincerity, and especially because it forces so many really good men amongst ourselves into an open war with the very fundamental principles of civil liberty—criticizing the Declaration of Independence, and insisting that there is no right principle of action but self-interest.


- Abraham Lincoln on slavery, Peoria, 1854; substituting the word "torture" for "slavery."

Monday, November 12, 2007

Dear George Herbert Walker Bush: You Can Go Away Now

Seriously. Get lost.

I read in the venerable USA Today that:

Former president George H.W. Bush forcefully defended his son's handling of the Iraq war Thursday, saying critics of the current president have forgotten the "extraordinary brutality" of deposed Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein.

"Do they want to bring back Saddam Hussein, these critics?" the elder Bush told USA TODAY in a rare interview. "Do they want to go back to the status quo ante? I don't know what they are talking about here. Do they think life would be better in the Middle East if Saddam were still there?"


Ok, listen up. I rarely write original posts anymore (outside of Bobblespeak Translations) but I survived the Bush pere Presidency, and there is a reason America voted his whiny ass out of office once already. We don't want to hear from him anymore.

First, you have to understand the Bush never really wanted to be President in the first place. Oh, he deeply desired it, as the pinnacle of achievement in America, and he being such a blue-blooded patrician, felt he deserved it, and America was deserving of him. But unlike say, FDR, Johnson, Reagan, JFK, or Clinton, he lacked both a desire to actually do something with the office -that is a vision - ("the vision thing") and the light and common touch all those men brought the job.

After briefly and forgettably serving in various jobs like head of the CIA, ambassador to the UN and envoy to China, the media pronounced him qualified and he was off.

But his heart wasn't really in it, and certainly not in politics. So he turned to people like Lee Atwater, and told us that Dukakis wanted to bring down America, that his dog knew more than Bill Clinton, and mocked Al Gore as Ozone Man.

His flailing and jabbering were not an accident. He had no political skills because he had no politics, other than "you people should be governed by you betters - me." Ever see HW Bush in his debate against Geraldine Ferraro? He was so inept it was horrifying ("whine on, harvest moon!")

Like other amateurs, he assumed that this is what politicians do - lie and smear people. He was able to keep campaigning separate from governing, though it also revealed a cold hearted naked ambition for power divorced from ethics or ideology.

So Bush could be vicious, but he was not brainless, and left Saddam Hussein in power, a defensible position then and now.

According the article:

The elder Bush reacted testily when asked about criticism of his son. "I don't reminisce with … my friends like you about what my son does or doesn't do," Bush said. But "I think we forget even today the extraordinary brutality of Saddam Hussein."

What can one say?

Poppy, fuck you.

Bush is upset, of course, because his son is being criticized, and his Presidency is now largely regarded as a colossal failure.

But there is more to it than that. 8 years ago, George HW Bush's presidency was associated in lockstep with Ronald Reagan's. Now it will forever be linked with his son's.

In other words, George W has not only trashed his own legacy, but his father's as well.

I understand that's upsetting, and I certainly wish the nation (and the world) had been spared this raging Oedipal conflict these last 7 years.

But no, Poppy, we haven't forgotten that Saddam was brutal, just I assume you haven't forgotten that you left that brutal guy in power to continue his brutality.

So please go away now, and take your fellow ancient, weepy, self-pitying, best friend Don Imus, and your fixer/consigliere James Baker, and your Nazi sympathizing -ancestors, and your criminal sons, and their wastrel families, with you, to whatever fresh hell nature has designated for name of Bush to dwell in forever and for all time.

Kremlin to Invest in Hi Tech Companies

While the dollar, and U.S. bridges, are in free fall, the Russian Government is going to spend some of their vast oil and gas profits investing in hi tech startups - essentially venture capital to jump start Russia's businesses interests in the 21st century.

Or even more simply, they are spending some of their profits from one sector to expand into other sectors - diversifying, in other words - should the day ever come when oil and gas are not so profitable.

Seem pretty smart.


Full story here

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

DEPT OF DUBIOUS LAWSUITS

Writer Says O.J. Simpson's Book, 'If I Did It,'
Plagiarized His


See Complaint here

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

What Color is this Revolution?

New York Times:


Benazir Bhutto, who arrived in Islamabad today,
has pledged to lead a major protest on Friday. Pakistan’s
chief justice also urged defiance today.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Livingston Group Sues Candidate for Defamation for Revealing Ties to CACI

A Washington lobbying shop filed a $1 million defamation suit Friday against the Democratic Party of Virginia and a legislative candidate over an ad that links the firm to the abuses at the Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq.

The ad in question said, “Tim Hugo’s lobbying firm represents the ones who were responsible for torture abuses at Abu Ghraib.”

The Livingston Group said it formally represented CACI International, which provided civilian interrogators to assist military personnel at the notorious Iraqi prison. The firm said CACI hired Livingston to lobby Congress on a different issue and has not been a client since 2004, a year before Hugo joined the lobbying shop.

“The Livingston Group was extremely upset that anyone would link them to companies involved in the Abu Ghraib incident,” said Ben DiMuro, a Livingston attorney.


Apparently they were hoping to keep it a secret.

Friday, November 02, 2007

I CAN HAZ COLLECTORS ITEM?

J.K. Rowling has completed her first book not to feature teen wizard Harry Potter -- an illustrated collection of magical fairy stories titled "The Tales of Beedle the Bard."

Only seven copies of the book are being printed, Rowling said Thursday. One will be auctioned next month to raise money for a children's charity, while the others have been given away as gifts.

Rowling drew the illustrations herself and provided the handwriting for the five stories that make up the collection of fairytales.

It's Official: Hollywood Writers Will Strike

This afternoon leaders of the Writer's Guild will send out a press release announcing the strike and details of how the strike will work, which includes picketing for several hours per day by members.

The Screen Actors Guild supports the strike.

The Teamsters may support as well.

At issue: residuals over DVD sales, internet broadcasts, and other new sources of revenue.